


How To Fall In Love

by Lost_xoxo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: AU based on a book, Angst with a Happy Ending, ChanHun, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, First Meetings, Fluff, M/M, Mention of Chanyeol & original female character, Minor Character Death, Past Relationship(s), References to Depression, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Strangers to Lovers, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-04-12 01:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19121935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_xoxo/pseuds/Lost_xoxo
Summary: Sehun has just two weeks. Two weeks to teach Chanyeol how to fall in love - with his own life.





	1. How to Hold on To Dear Life

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is retelling of one of my favourite book ‘How to fall in love’ by Cecelia Ahern. Obviously I will be making a lot of changes to it but the story will remain the same. 
> 
> Just a reminder that the introductory chapter can be slightly heavy due to discussions of suicide. But I promise it will be a lot lighter in the next chapters. 
> 
> Anyway now that you guys know enjoy reading.

_Moments are precious; sometimes they linger and other times they’re fleeting, and yet so much could be done in them; one could change a mind, one could save a life and one could even fall in love._

                          ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

  
The streets of Seoul were quiet on a Sunday night in December and it was bitter cold as Sehun made his way to the Hangang bridge, It was definitely one of the most beautiful places in the city. 

During his childhood his parents brought him and his brother in the weekends to the nearby Hangang park to play and before going home they would always stand on the bridge and enjoy the beautiful light show appearing in the Seoul skyline. 

Since his mother died he had never came back to watch the light show instead he tried to replicate the feeling that the place had offered him years ago, this was his happy place and he know it wouldn’t be in an instant but Sehun hoped that standing there he could recall the emotion, the experience. 

The Hangang bridge was still how it used to be with an expception of some new buildings along the dock, the skyline were lit up in the background and the reflection of the lights in the dark water was same. It had all the right elements from Sehun’s childhood memories. 

Apart from one thing.

A lone man, dressed in black clinging the outside of the bridge while he looked down at the cold river that ran swift and treacherous beneath him.

On the step of the entrance there were a few people already gathered discussing how long will it take for the police to arrive. Sehun joined them in their shock and wondering. 

The three men beside Sehun were arguing about what to do and what not to which wasn’t helping the situation at all. Suddenly adrenaline pumped through his heart and Sehun took a step forward. The icy wind hit him like a slap across the face almost, His ears were aching from the cold and nose was numb.

The tide was high in the Han river, water was black, murky and uninvited. Sehun detached himself from the people gathered behind him. His view of the man grew clearer, a man standing on the wrong side of the railings, his feet on the narrow ridge above the water. It was too late to go back now.

“Hello” Sehun called for him gently not wanting to give him a fright and sending him into the water.

“Please don’t be surprised, am not going to touch you” despite trying to be heard over the breeze Sehun kept his voice calm and clear with a soft expression on his face.

The guy turned to look at Sehun and then his eyes went back to the water, staring at the river. He seemed too deep in his thoughts to notice. 

“My name is Sehun” he said taking slow, steady steps towards him, Sehun wanted to be able to see his face.

“Don’t come any closer” the man shouted sounding panicked.

Sehun stopped, he was already an arms length away from him, he could grab his hand if he needed to any moment. 

“Okay, okay I am staying here but I don’t want you to fall”

He turned to see how far Sehun was standing from him.

“Fall?” He looked up at Sehun quickly and their eyes met. Sehun guessed that the man was in his late twenties probably, he was tall, hair hidden beneath a woollen hat. His brown eyes was staring back at him,pupils so blown out that Sehun wondered if was drunk or even worse on drugs.

“Do you think I care if I fall? Do you think I am standing here for the view?” Saying he went back to concentrating on the river. 

“what’s your name?”

“I don’t need your help leave me alone” He snapped but it came off more like a request than a demand. Sehun’s heart beat increased each time the stranger’s knuckles slightly loosened around the iron railings. 

“Look nobody is going to come near you unless I say so, there is no rush, no panic you don’t need to do anything without thinking it through. All I am asking you is to talk to me?”

The man was silent at least he hadn’t already jumped.

“Can I know your name?” Sehun pressed gently.

There was nothing from him and Sehun felt panic festering inside of him as a wave of emotion rushed through his mind. Helplessly he glanced back at the now crowd of spectators watching them.

“Chanyeol” he spoke.

Sehun instantly felt relieved. He had read somewhere that a person attempting suicide needed to be reminded that there were people thinking about them, that they were loved and wanted even if they felt it or not. Sehun’s mind raced in order to figure out what to say. 

“I just want to help you” Sehun said.

“There is no point of helping”

“I would like to try, I would like to hear what you have to say” Sehun told him trying to sound as positive as he could given the circumstances.

Chanyeol didn’t answer but he shook his head dejectedly.

“Give me a chance and we can look at the choices that seems so hard to see right now but they do exist, for now let me help you.  Let me help you to safety”

Chanyeol looked up at him, his expression forlorn, he mouthed a _sorry_ before his fingers loosened from the bars and his body immediately leaned forward away from the railings.

“No!” Sehun dashed forward pushing his arms through the railings he wrapped them around the man’s chest pulling him back so hard that he slammed into the railings.

Sehun’s own body was pressed close to him, he wasn’t going to let the stranger slip away so easily. Sehun buried his face in the man’s woolly hat squeezing his eyes shut. Waiting in baited breath for him to pull away or protest because Sehun was sure he wouldn’t be able to hold onto Chanyeol much longer, he hoped the police nearby would step in to help. 

Chanyeol smelled fresh like he had just taken a shower with a lingering scent of a musky cologne definitely not how someone who was planning to jump of a bridge.

“What are you doing?” He panted.

“Don’t do it...please don’t” Sehun whispered on the verge of tears. 

“Take your hands off me” Chanyeol said trying to shake himself out of Sehun’s hold.

“No” Sehun cried out shaking his head, he squeezed his hands tighter. Ignoring the tears blurring his eyes, “Please listen, you don’t have to end your life. The pain that you are feeling right now, the pain that you go through everyday maybe no one understands you...but believe me I do”

Sehun was so focused on getting his words out he hadn’t notice that Chanyeol had turned his head and he was staring at him. They were nose to nose, He was studying Sehun’s face as if looking for more than he what he could see.

“It’s a _moment_ , and moments pass. You probably think that no one cares, or that they’ll get over you but no one wants this for anyone. You might feel there is options are options but there are and you will get through this. Let’s just get down and talk about it” The tears were running down Sehun’s face.

Sehun saw that his big eyes were filling up too, Chanyeol swallowed hard like he was weighing down his options.

 _Live_ or _die_. Sehun thought of the next thing that he should say, something positive that won’t trigger him back to that place. But he didn’t have a chance to say because Chanyeol spoke first.

“I want it to end.’ His voice shaking “It hurts.’’

“What hurts?’

“Living” Chanyeol let out a weak laugh. Waking up everyday has been the worst part of my life”

It definitely wasn’t a good idea to talk about his life problems when he was hanging off the bridge.

“I want to know everything you have to say but let’s go down now, please” Sehun said, concerned.

Chanyeol closed his eyes and murmured quietly more to himself than to Sehun “It’s too much and it’s too late, I can’t change things anymore” he leaned back letting his head rest on Sehun’s shoulder. They were oddly close for two _strangers_.

“It’s never too late. Trust me, it’s possible for your life to change. I can help you,’ Sehun’s voice was a mere whisper since his ears were close to Sehun’s lips.

He looked Sehun in the eye and Sehun couldn’t look away, the man seemed so lost.

“And what happens if it doesn’t work? If everything doesn’t change like you say it will”

“It will”

“But What if it doesn’t?”

“I’m telling you it will” _Get_ _him_ _off_ _the_ _bridge_. Sehun reminded himself.

Chanyeol studied Sehun, his jaw hardening “If it doesn’t, I swear I’ll do this again” he threatened “Il find another way”

“Fine” Sehun replied confidently, “If your life doesn’t change, it’s your decision what you do. But I’m telling you that it will. I’ll show you how amazing life can be. I promise you”

“It’s a deal” Chanyeol answered.

 _Deal_? Dread immediately flooded into Sehun’s mind. He had never intended on making any deal not that he would talk about it right now, all he wanted was to get the man off the bridge.

“You need to let go of me so I can climb over” Chanyeol stated

“I’m not letting you go. No way” Sehun said sternly and Chanyeol gave a dry chuckle “Look, I’m trying to get back on the bridge and now you won’t let me.”

“Okay, but let me call for help”

Chanyeol ignored him, Sehun watched him moving his right hand to a bar further away and his feet shuffled in the narrow ledge so that he could turn around. Sehun’s heart pounded feeling helpless.

Grabbing onto the bar tightly he angled himself twisting his waist so he could swing his foot over the water and face the bridge.

Sehun felt the wind stronger and colder making him more aware of how dangerous the situation was, one misstep would sent Chanyeol right into the river.

Thankfully the police officer came rushing towards them with a thunderous look on his face.

“He wants to get back on the bridge” Sehun offered weakly.

“ I can see that” The officer pushed Sehun aside and Sehun looked away while they manoeuvred Chanyeol to safety. 

“Are you okay?’ Chanyeol asked, worried as they both sat on the ground completely drained out.

Sehun should be the one asking him but he simply nodded closing his eyes. “Thanks” Sehun said.

“For what?”

“For not jumping”

Chanyeol grimaced, the exhaustion showing in his face and body “Seemed like it meant more to you than to _me_ ”

  
“Well, I appreciate it” Sehun gave him a wobbly smile.

In that moment Chanyeol reached out and held his hand, Sehun shifted so he could take Chanyeol’s hand in his own. 

“I look forward to you convincing me that this was a good idea, Sehun. I think my birthday would be a good deadline” 

 _Deadline_? Sehun froze, his hand was still held in his. Chanyeol said it softly, but it felt like a warning.

Despite wanting to take it all back, Sehun nodded nervously. Chanyeol looked Sehun in the eye for few more seconds then he let go of him. 

Suddenly the thought of the deal Sehun had agreed to felt faint and foolish. What had he done?

 

                         ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

 

Even though event of the night was weighing down on Sehun’s shoulders he couldn’t sleep. It had been months he had slept properly, Sehun was used to the sleeplessness since the day he had packed his bags and walked out of their house, leaving his husband.

The decision wasn’t cause of a sudden epiphany, the thought of ending his marriage was something that Sehun had slowly grownto live with. He had been searching ways to find happiness, positivity hoping to rescue his marriage. But the thought of _escape_ was like a constant burn that just wouldn’t go away. 

If Sehun had to judge his life in colours, his relationship with Dohyeon had gone from a vibrant hue - atleast that’s how it used to be when they were dating to a dull monotonous shade of grey.

Each little problem between them had magnified until it formed a gaping hole in their relationship, their never ending topics of discussions turned into clipped conversations. The indulgent kisses were reduced to occasional pecks on cheek.

Sehun had gone through a well read copy of _How_ _to_ _leave_ _your_ _husband, with out hurting him_ book before he had woken up Dohyeon with a cup of coffee and told him that their marriage was over. 

What he did not expect was Dohyeon to question more about their share of property than the reason behind ending their marriage. It was like his husband had a complete personality transplant when he said that he wanted to leave him becoming cold and vicious. He immediately claimed that the apartment, car anything that was their was now his. 

Dohyeon had refused to share even the things that he didn’t want. He had suddenly became possessive over the coffee machine, espresso mugs, toaster and so on. It was ridiculous but Sehun had patiently let his husband flip out in the kitchen like a mad man. 

Sehun didn’t say anything because he was pretty sure that Dohyeon was angry, he waited for him to calm down from the fits of rage so that they could talk about the things which Sehun knew that deep down even Dohyeon had felt too about their marriage.

The _love_ was gone, or maybe it was never there to begin with.

 

Sehun had been taken by the police to file a report after the bridge incident. The officer had probed him with too many questions for almost an hour, only letting him go when he was convinced that his suspicion of Sehun’s sudden appearance in the bridge was just a coincidence and not because Sehun was some cape crusader. That was exactly what the officer had said.  

Sehun hadn’t gotten a chance to see Chanyeol in the police station and he was starting to worry, when the officer wanted to know if he could give Sehun’s phone number to Chanyeol since he was asking about him, Sehun’s heart immediately lifted up.

Since sleep refused to come, Sehun sat up with a cup of coffee waiting for the call that didn’t come making him wonder if the officer had given the right number to Chanyeol.

In the next evening when he turned off his computer his phone rang flashing with an unknown caller ID

 

⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

   

They arranged to meet at the Hangong bridge, since it was the only link between them. But this time Chanyeol wasn’t standing on the edge but walked beside Sehun. 

“Chanyeol?” 

Hearing his name he turned. Chanyeol was wearing a long coat and the same woollen hat from the night before, hands buried deep in his pockets.

“Are you okay?”

Chanyeol nodded sounding a little shocked, “Am fine”

“Where did they take you last night? I didn’t see you at the station” 

“They took me to Seoul hospital for a psychological assessment. I passed with flying colours” Chanyeol joked, “The reason I wanted to see you was to thank you, in person” He shuffled his feet, “So Yah thank you”

“Your welcome” Sehun replied awkwardly not knowing whether to shake his hand or give him a hug.

Instead Sehun asked, “I need to know that you are going to be fine. I can’t just leave you. Are you going to get some help?”

“I told you it won’t change what is happening” saying Chanyeol turned to cross the street. Sehun followed him there was no way he could leave him alone. 

“What is happening?” 

Chanyeol kept walking instead of giving a reply.

“Okay you don’t have to tell me but are you atleast relieved that you didn’t jump?” Sehun needed this confirmation. 

“Sure it was a big mistake. I should have just gone to the Lotte World tower instead” which was the tallest building in the city.

Remembering the deal Sehun said quickly “When is your birthday?” 

Chanyeol actually laughed.

“Where are we going?” Sehun asked almost running to catch up with Chanyeol, his feet was already numb from the cold. Sehun hoped that they weren’t walking around the streets aimlessly. 

“I am staying here” Chanyeol pointed to the the tower like building infront of them, it was Regal hotel, Chanyeol lifted his gaze up “Or maybe I should have just jumped from the roof, looks pretty high”

“Am starting to think your humour is a bit sick”

“The hospital begs to differ”

“How did you even get out of there?”

“Charmed them with my boyish looks and wonder” Chanyeol replied calmly. 

“So you lied to them” Sehun accused and Chanyeol just shrugged.

“Thank you for saving my life. I don’t know if I should hug you, or give you a gold medal or a badge?” 

“I would prefer not to leave you right now” 

Chanyeol gave Sehun a small amused smile, “I would rather be alone now, thanks” saying he left Sehun on the entry way and disappeared through the revolving door of the hotel.

Sighing Sehun followed Chanyeol quickly crossing the swanky lobby of the hotel he watched Chanyeol step into the elevator.

But surprisingly he waited until Sehun got inside to press the buttons. 

They got out on the top floor and Sehun followed Chanyeol to the Oriental suite. Entering the room Sehun smelled flowers, the door to the bedroom was left ajar, standing in the living room he could see the rose petals strewn on the bed and a bottle of champagne, with two flutes resting on the bedside table.

Throwing an offended glance at the bedroom Chanyeol is walked towards the coffee table and picked up a paper.

“Is that your suicide note?”

Chanyeol winced “Don’t say that!” 

Shrugging off his coat, Chanyeol pulled off his hat and threw it on the floor carelessly and slumped on the couch. Sehun was a little taken aback to see a head full of platinum blonde hair. 

“What?” Chanyeol enquired noticing that Sehun had been staring at him.

Sehun sitting down on the couch opposite to him took his own coat off, hoping that the fire would warm him up. “Can I read it?” 

“No” Chanyeol held it close to his chest “This is a _memento_ of my trip to Seoul”

Sehun looked around the room, “Where you expecting someone here tonight?”

“Of course, I always arrange champagne and roses for handsome strangers who talk me off the bridge” 

It was sarcasm but Sehun couldn’t help but feel tiny bit flattered at being complimented. Despite of the jokes Chanyeol seemed nervous, he was fidgeting in his seat. 

After some time Chanyeol got up from the couch and made his way to the mini bar under the tv cabinet. 

“I don’t think you should drink” 

“I might be getting a ginger ale” Chanyeol pouted a little giving a wounded look to Sehun making him feel guilty, it only lasted a second because the next moment he grabbed a mini Whisky bottle and throwing a cheeky look at Sehun he sat down on the couch. 

Sehun watched Chanyeol pouring the alcohol in his glass with slight trembling hands. Not commenting on it Sehun himself retrieved a liquor bottle and mixed the whisky with soft drink to dilute the effect. Sehun thought he deserved it since he had made a deal with a man who tried to kill himself the night before.  Sehun had already thrown his own moral integrity and responsibility out of the window he might as well enjoy the alcohol then.

“My girlfriend”

“What?” 

“I came to Seoul to surprise my girlfriend, we were having problems recently” Chanyeol rubbed his face “she said we were growing distant”

“So What happened?” Sehun asked curiously, finally Chanyeol was opening up to him. 

“She was with someone else” Chanyeol’s jaw tightened “She said she was going to the Olive Grill with her friends...But she was with my best friend Theo, they were holding hands. They didn’t notice me when I walked in the restaurant, she didn’t expect me to arrive - I was supposed to be in Busan. When I asked them they didn’t even deny” Chanyeol shrugged.

”What did you do?”

”What could I do? I left feeling like an idiot” Chanyeol sighed in defeat “I knew what I had to do.”

“So instead of I don’t know punching your sorry excuse of a best friend you decided toattempt suicide?”

“I told you _stop_ saying that” Chanyeol muttered quietly.

“That’s what you tried to do” 

“Il do it again if you don’t keep your side of the deal” He shouted getting up from the couch.

Sehun was sure that there was more to the story than just a cheating girlfriend, but it wasn’t the right time to ask questions, he didn’t want to trigger the other. 

“I assume you want to stay” Chanyeol said keeping his back to Sehun, as he looked out of the balcony.

“Is that okay with you?” 

Chanyeol turned to see Sehun, thinking for a few minutes he nodded “Yah that’s a good idea I guess, you can sleep in the bedroom” then he went back to face the balcony. 

There was so much that Sehun wanted to say but no words from his self help books seemed appropriate right now. He needed time to figure what would help Chanyeol. 

“Goodnight” 

Sehun left the bedroom door slightly open, not liking the fact that Chanyeol was standing so close to the balcony. From the gap of the door Sehun watched him taking off his sweater revealing a fitted Tshirt beneath. Sehun wasn’t even sure why he was staring.

What if Chanyeol ended up suffocating himself with the sweater? Sehun would have to help him.

“Enjoying the view?” Chanyeol asked as he sat down on the couch, he was too tall for the couch and had to put his feet up on the armrest. 

Sehun could feel his cheek heating up. Rolling his eyes he moved away from the door. He sauntered towards the bed. Sehun glanced at the Champagne bottle now sitting in a pool of melted ice iniside the bucket, sighing he reached for a chocolate covered strawberry from the bedside table and noticed a card on the display tray that read

 _For_ _my_ _beautiful_ _fiancé_ , _Love_ _Chanyeol_

 

⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅


	2. How To take Your Relationship To the Next Level

That night as Sehun lay awake in the suite, all his worries started to pile up. The worry of having left Dohyeon, the money problems that followed,what people thought of him, the fear of never meeting anyone ever again and being lonely for the rest of his life.

And now a man whose surname he didn’t even know, had twenty four hours ago tried to take his life was lying in the next room waiting for Sehun to fix his life within a time limit of two weeks or else....

Sehun felt nauseous at the prospect and got out of his bed to check on Chanyeol. The T.V was muted, the colours flickered and danced around the room, Chanyeol’s chest heaving up and down.

According to the book _How_ _to_ _beat_ _Insomnia_ _and_ _sleeplessness:_ _326_ _effective_ _tips_ that Sehun had read in the past weeks - he tried to recall ways to quiet his mind and catch up on some sleep but all he could think of was to worry about the man.

Sehun flicked on the switch of the kettle.

“Do you even sleep?” Chanyeol called out.

“Sorry, am I disturbing you?”

“No, but the steam engine in there with you is.’’

“You want some tea?” Sehun noticed that Chanyeol already had a lot to drink since three small empty bottles of whiskey sat on the coffee table.

“No thank you. You can’t watch me twenty four hours a day. Sooner or later you’re going to have to sleep” Chanyeol said gazing up at Sehun, he didn’t even look tired or drunk, just _beautiful_.

“I’d prefer if I could sleep in here with you” Sehun offered.

“Sounds _good_ but it’s a bit too soon after my break up, so if you don’t mind, I’ll pass.

   
  


Sipping on the camomile tea Sehun enquired “Have you tried therapy?”

“Therapy is not for me”

“Well it could be something helpful”

“I thought you are going to help me” Chanyeol looked at Sehun “Isn’t that what you said? Be with me and I’ll show you how _wonderful_ life can be?”

Again panic rose in Sehun’s heart at that, Chanyeol was placing all this trust in him.

“And Il will do that..” Sehun swallowed, “But I cant help if you don’t open up to me. So tell me something did your girlfriend know that your were depressed?”

“Anna?” She told me that I was distracted, I had changed I never really told her what was on my mind” Chanyeol sighed “she thought it had something to do about my father and the job”

“Tell me something about this job that is worrying you?”

Chanyeol chuckled lifelessly “This feels like a therapy session. Me lying on the couch and you sitting there” then he stared up at the ceiling “My father got really sick so I had taken temporary leave from my job to help him run the company in the which I absolutely have no interest in, but then i got to know that his sickness is terminal and he isn’t going to get better so I stayed for longer than I intended. Last week my boss told me that they can’t afford to extend my leave anymore”

“So you loose your father, your job, your best friend and your girlfriend - all in one week” Sehun summarised. 

“Gee, thanks for pointing it out for me”

“I only have two weeks to fix things, can’t really beat around the bush can I?” Sehun said lightly.

“No, you specifically have _thirteen_ days to fix my life”

Sehun sat up, “So let me get this straight, you don’t want to run your fathers company, but when your father passes away do you have to keep the position?” 

“Yes that’s what the problem is because it’s a family business, My grandfather left the company to my father, next it falls to me, and so on and so on” The tension was building in Chanyeol’s voice just talking about it.

Realising that it was a touchy subject Sehun asked carefully “Have you told your father that you don’t want this job?”

Chanyeol laughed bitterly. ‘It doesn’t matter what I tell him; the job is mine whether I like it or not. My grandfather’s will states that the company is my father’s for life, then it falls to my father’s children, and if I don’t join the business, then it reverts to my uncle’s son and his family will inherit it”

“But that saves you”

Chanyeol buried his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes with frustration “It screws me even. See i appreciate you trying to help but you won’t understand the situation”

Sehun nodded, seeing how Chanyeol’s fingers were trembling he knew that it was time to talk about something else.

“What is that you do? The job that you love”

“What do you think I do?” Chanyeol looked at Sehun with a rare playful look in his eye.

Sehun studied him for a few minutes and guessed “A model?’

Chanyeol quickly sat up and looked at Sehun in shock. “Are you kidding?”

“You’re not a model?”

“Why the hell would you even think that?”

“Because...”

“Because what?”

It was the first time Sehun had seen such a confused animated expression on the others face.

“Don’t tell me no one has ever said this to you before?”

Chanyeol shook his head “No never”

“Oh. Even your girlfriend?”

“No!” He laughed quickly, and it was beautiful, a beautiful sound and Sehun was sure he wanted to hear again. “You’re pulling my leg”

“I wasn’t, honestly you happened to be the most good looking guy I have seen and I thought you are a model” Sehun explained bluntly. 

Chanyeol’s expression softened when he looked at Sehun, slightly embarrassed as if trying to figure out if Sehun was still joking. But he wasn’t. Sehun meant when he said that he was indeed handsome, but it came off wrong because it came out right.

“So what do you do ?” Sehun asked picking imaginary fluff from the cushion.

“Have you heard of Havana club? Well I work there as a stripper because I am so good looking and everything”

Sehun rolled his eyes shaking his head.

“Well am messing with you, I am a lifestyle editor in Globe illustrated magazine”

Chanyeol studied Sehun’s face, “What? it doesn’t sound as fun as a model I guess”

“No it’s not that, I am just a little surprised”

Chanyeol laughed “Why? Because I write and deal with what makes life exciting yet I am barely living my own. Ironical isn’t it?”

Sehun chewed on his lip distractedly. 

“What do you do?” This was probably the first time Chanyeol enquired something about Sehun’s life.

“What do you think?” Two can definitely play the game.

“Umm work at a charity shop?”

Sehun looked down at his plaid shirt, jeans and converse, wondering if his simple casual clothes gave him away.

“It’s not because of your clothes” Chanyeol chuckled “Just that you are caring....something to do with helping people? An orphanage maybe ?”

“I am a recruitment consultant”

Chanyeol’s smile faded like he was disappointed.

 ....

The sound of running water woke Sehun up from his half asleep half awake state. Finding the couch empty he immediately sprung up not even feeling groggy. After searching for Chanyeol around the rest of the suite, not fully thinking Sehun barged into the bathroom.

He was faced with a muscular and very much naked back.

Sensing his presence Chanyeol twisted his upper body around, his blond locks were matted and slightly darkened, Sehun stared at the droplets of waters running down his body dazedly.

“Well I am alive, don’t worry” Chanyeol said sounding amused not even the slightest fazed that Sehun had walked in on him showering.

Sehun gulped and awkwardly backed away from the bathroom, closing the door. Sehun stood outside for a a few minutes making sure that there was no sound of mirror smashing. He couldn’t really trust Chanyeol. As Sehun almost turned around to leave he stopped hearing soft chokes full of hurt and longing coming out. A part of him immediately wanted to go inside and comfort Chanyeol but he had already embarrassed himself enough so Sehun stood there helplessly listening to him cry.

 

After freshening up himself in the guest bathroom Sehun looked around the room for the suicide note that Chanyeol had refused to give him. Going through Chanyeol’s clothes he finally found it inside a pocket. Sehun opened the crumpled paper and quickly learnt that it wasn’t a suicide note at all, the paper with scribbles on it was Chanyeol’s proposal speech to Anna, written perfectly.

The sound of Chanyeol’s phone vibrating stole Sehun’s attention. Removing the pile of clothes aside he picked it up, the screen flashed Anna’s name. Making a decision Sehun answered the call.

Mid conversation Sehun turned around and found Chanyeol standing in the doorway. A towel wrapped around his waist, his skin dry and anger written on his face. Sehun quickly ended the call with some excuse.

“Your phone was ringing, I thought it was an important call. Since we made a deal, we are not allowed to have secrets from each other”

Chanyeol didn’t object so Sehun continued “It was Anna, she was worried thinking you would hurt yourself after that night. She said she has been worried about you since last year. That is the reason she went to Theo so they could figure out how to help you but she ended up falling for him. They didn’t want to hurt you. She didn’t know how to tell you that they have been together for awhile now. Anna said that she tried to talk to you but then your father fell sick and you suddenly left. Last week when she tried to mention about their relationship you told that you were let go from your job. The timing was messed up, She wished you didn’t find out about them theway you did”

Sehun watched as Chanyeol took it all in. There was anger, hurt, vulnerability bubbling inside him. He was seething yet he looked so fragile and a whisper away from breaking.

“She seemed really angry that I picked up the phone because she didn’t know me. Anna thought she knew all your friends, she was jealous”

Chanyeol’s anger lessened a little hearing about her being jealous. Taking the opportunity Sehun hesitatingly added the last bit “She said you lost your _spark_. That you used to fun and spontaneous - that she doesn’t recognise you anymore”

Chanyeol immediately looked away, but Sehun couldn’t help but notice that there were tears filling up in his eyes.

“We will get her back, she will recognise you again, she will fall in love with you and you will find your spark. Chanyeol, I promise”

Saying Sehun left the room giving Chanyeol space to think.

Twenty minutes latter Chanyeol appeared in the living room fully dressed hiding all the sadness “Breakfast?”

 

                          ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

 

The dining room buffet had quite an array of good choices, but they both settled themselves with two cups of black coffee and empty placements.

“So you don’t eat, you don’t sleep too. What else do we have in common?” Chanyeol mused.

Sehun had lost his appetite since he realised that he wasn’t happy with his marriage. He was working on it with the _How_ _to_ _regain_ _your_ _appetite_ _one_ _bite_ _at_ _a_ _time_ book.

“Broken relationships” Sehun offered quietly.

Chanyeol looked up at Sehun questioningly.

“I left my husband” Sehun blurted out, this was the first he had said it out loud to someone other than his family.

Chanyeol was studying his face unblinking probably trying to read Sehun.

“What did he do?” He asked after a moment.

“Nothing” that was it Dohyeon didn’t do anything, Sehun fixed his gaze on the table “I wasn’t happy”

Chanyeol’s lip curved into an unamused smile “So you left him to find your own happiness”

Chanyeol was obviously thinking about his girlfriend leaving him.

“You don’t know how hard it is to leave someone. But am sure he will get over me. We can’t be miserable for the rest of our lives” Sehun hadn’t thought of the alternate of his husband not getting over him.

“You left yours, I was left. It’s different”

Sehun sighed “Enough about me. Why don’t you tell me more about you?”

“Sehun I think you should stop playing the therapist”

“Well you wouldn’t go see a real one, so I think I am the best option you have right now” this silenced Chanyeol. Sighing he sat back and stared at the chandelier as if it had asked him the question.

“Chanyeol, What do you want from me? How do you expect me to help you?” Sehun needed some answers. Sehun couldn’t help him if he didn’t know what to do in the first place.

 

With that Chanyeol leaned forward, lowering his voice he pointed out “ It will be my _twenty_ _seventh_ birthday on Saturday next week. As much as I don’t want to go Il have to be there at the birthday party at City hall. It’s a big day  because the board members have arranged to announce that I am taking over the company while my father is still alive. You know if I can have my way I would let anyone take the damn job but I can’t. Because then the company will fall into my cousin’s hands who is a selfish bastard and he will ruin everything. I need to figure something out so I can announce someone responsible to take my place as the head also I want my job at the magazine back”

Sehun opened his mouth to protest but Chanyeol lifted his finger stoping him.

“Most importantly I want Anna back. By my side like it should be. Theo is taking advantage of her and he isn’t right for Anna. If any of these things don’t work out I will drown myself in the fucking river if I have to” the last words came off with Chanyeol banging his fist on the table.

Chanyeol looked at Sehun eyes wide and threatening, waiting for Sehun to give up on him and walk away.

Seeing Sehun stand up Chanyeol’s face changed into a satisfied expression knowing that he had been able to push Sehun away.

Instead Sehun grinned back cheerily“Okay, We have a lot to do and we need to plan accordingly. First I need to get my car. Are you coming?”

To say Chanyeol was taken by surprise was an understatement. He looked baffled at Sehun not leaving him how he thought he would, then Chanyeol grabbed his coat and followed Sehun.

⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

“That’s the third time in a row. You never check your messages, this makes me wonder what if am hanging off from a bridge somewhere looking for comforting words but you wont even read my message” Chanyeol joked as Sehun’s phone beeped again in the taxi.

“Those aren’t messages, they are voicemails”

Sehun was used to the voicemails that came everyday at 9 am.

“Let me see?”

“No”

Chanyeol studied Sehun, and he pouted “No secrets remember?”

Without waiting he snatched Sehun’s phone from his hand and dialed the messages, after listening to them he handed his phone back to Sehun.

Sehun glanced at Chanyeol for his reaction.

“That was your husband. He said he is keeping the fish tank. And that he will find legal ways so you can’t own a fish ever again he also added that he will get his lawyer to draw the paperwork”

“Is that all?” Sehun asked unamused.

“In the second message he called you an asshole twenty times. I didn’t even have to count because he said that you are asshole multiplied by twenty”

Sehun sighed looking out of the window. Dohyeon was being frantic and more childish day by day, it was getting worse. He literally hated the fish tank. Not that Sehun cared his husband could have the _damned_ fishes.

They fell silent for a few minutes and Sehun’s phone beeped again.

“And I thought I had problems” Chanyeol said laughing.

⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its a slow build so have patience with their growing relationship ;) I hope I haven’t written it very messily and that the story is understandable.


	3. How To Enjoy Life In Simple Ways

Stepping inside the building, they walked up the stairs to the first floor.

Sehun stopped at the door to his office and struggled to get his key in, trying another, then another, then another of the ten keys that he had.

“Why do you have so many keys, are you a prison guard?” 

Ignoring Chanyeol Sehun tried the next key.

“ _Damn_ they did it again. Come on” saying Sehun started climbing up the stairs. His office was on the first floor of a three-storey house which was owned by his family.

Sehun’s dad and his brothers were sitting around the dining table as they entered.

“Oh lookie. Sehun has already met a guy” Jongdae snapped his fingers as soon as he saw Chanyeol “How is boring old Dohyeon going to compete with him?”

Sehun sighed “Hey everyone” then he said “This is Chanyeol...my client.

Chanyeol this is my dad and the other two slobs are my brothers, Jongdae and Baekhyun”

“So where did you meet Sehun?” Baekhyun asked pulling a chair for Chanyeol to sit.

Chanyeol looked at Sehun who just shrugged tiredly and then he sat. 

“On the Hangang bridge”

“Oh that’s romantic”

“Not really, He stopped me from jumping off the bridge two nights ago”

“ _Ugh_ Sehun has always been a killjoy” Jongdae accused him.

“He wasn’t jumping for fun” Sehun explained.

Hearing the words they all turned their head in unison to look at Chanyeol.

Chanyeol fidgeted under the three pair of eyes staring at him, unsure of what to say next. Sehun knew he was probably regretting that he had mentioned the incident. But his family had an ability to make people feel that the important stuff wasn’t really important and right now that was what Chanyeol needed.

“The Hangang bridge isn’t even that high” Jongdae scrunched his nose in dissatisfaction.

“What are you talking about?” Their dad enquired.

“That’s hardly a fall at all”

“He wasn’t trying to kill himself with the drop, Dae” Baekhyun chimed in “I think he was trying to drown himself. Were you?”

They all looked at him again.

Chanyeol didn’t know how to answer, his surprise was so great. Sehun was used to a range of reactions when he brought people home. It was hard to imagine that both his brothers and father were serious lawyers who loved engaging in childish banter.

Chanyeol seemed to be content in observing the unusual rhythm of their talk. 

“I said I think you were trying to drown yourself?’ Baekhyun repeated more loudly.

“He doesn’t have water in his ears, Baek” Jongdae interrupted “Sehun saved him, remember?”

They all chuckled a little at their own joke. Chanyeol gave Sehun a surprised look.

Sehun mouthed a _sorry_ , and Chanyeol shook his head smiling as if there was no need for him to apologise.

“So Changmin did you hurt yourself on the bridge?” Their dad asked.

“It’s Chanyeol, and no I didn’t” Chanyeol replied politely.

“So what are you two doing?’ Baekhyun asked Chanyeolresting his chin on his hand as if he was about to spill some gossip, “Is Sehun going to place you in a new job and send you away like he does with his clients?”

Chanyeol gave a slightly amused look, his eyes glinting “Sehun has to convince me to like my life by my twenty seventh birthday”

They were all silent. They didn’t need to ask what would happen if he didn’t like his life by that deadline it was understandable. 

“When’s that?” Jongdae asked.

“Two weeks” Sehun replied.

“Twelve days” Immediately Chanyeol correctedhim.

“Are you having a party?” Baekhyun probed.

‘Yes” Chanyeol nodded slightly puzzled by the direction they were taking.

“Can we come?” Jongdae asked flatly.

“I think you should get one of those cheese cakes instead of the normal ones, they are so much better” their father suggested thoughtfully.

“You look sad” Jongdae pointed out, staring at Chanyeol. “That’s because he is _sad_ ” Baekhyun answered this pouting. 

Not wanting his brothers to interrogate Chanyeol anymore, Sehun said hurriedly “We have to go, I want the key to the new lock and can you guys stopping changing my locks every time?” He groaned at his two elder brothers.

Jongdae and Baekhyun both looked at their Dad in confusion. He started laughing. ‘Sorry I couldn’t help it. Sehun takes it so badly, it’s funny. I’ll get the key.”

“He’s the best prospect you’ve ever brought home” Baekhyun murmured quietly as Chanyeol left the office

 

Sehun followed Chanyeol down the stairs, “I’m sorry for my brothers.They are always joking about everything but they didn’t mean any offence” Sehun explained “Most people avoid visiting our house because they can’t cope with their sense of humour. They were happy to see you”

Sehun heard Chanyeol give a small laugh, the lovely sound that he barely got to hear.

“So I was like a fresh meat to your brothers?” Chanyeol smirked “Don’t worry, I liked them they actually made me smile”

 

The first thing that Sehun did entering his office was to cancel all this appointments for the next two weeks since he was on a mission.

By the time Sehun had finished delegating all his schedules and meetings to his other two colleagues, Chanyeol shouted for him from across the room “Forty-two Tips on How to Think Positive Thoughts When Everything Is Going Wrong…” a book title from Sehun’s collection. “Thirty Five Ways to Think Positively” He snorted mockingly “These numbers intrigue me. Why so specific? Why forty two and not forty?

Chanyeol moved along the shelf, He held a book in the air “Sixty six Ways to Solve Your Money Problems. Sixty-six? I know just one, go to work” Chanyeol said to the book, and continued to browse.

Chanyeol was obviously enjoying himself ridiculing Sehun’s self help books but Sehun didn’t mind he watched Chanyeol pulling out more books to vent about, it was kind of entertaining and nice to see him laughing.

Finally feeling tired Chanyeol felt plopped himself on the armchair. After a few minutes he looked uncomfortable, he was squirming in his chair looking around the room.

“So how are you feeling?”

Finally his gaze came to rest somewhere out of the window, after a few minutes he replied “I am feeling...pissed actually”

“Why?”

“Because my best friend is _fucking_ my girlfriend?” He laughed but it looked too forced.

Not the answer Sehun was expecting but he nodded urging him to continue. Chanyeol was rather unpredictable that much Sehun had known by now. 

“I don’t blame her you know, I understand why she did it. I was so distracted that everything else kind of fell away. I haven’t been in a good place for so long. But I want to tell that I changed so she can change her mind too”

“When are you going to tell her that you changed, the bigger question is have you changed?”

“I don’t know” Chanyeol remained staring at the floor “But it will change, you promised me you will help me. Otherwise I will—“

Sehun quickly cut Chanyeol off “Until your birthday, you’re mine” Sehun said sternly. Realising what he had said Sehun paused for a moment, Chanyeol wasn’t his, but he wouldn’t take the words back. 

“We have a deal. For the next twelve days I will do my very best to keep my side of the deal. You will have to keep yours. Stay _alive_. That is your job” 

“Fine.”

                          ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

According to _Thirty_   _Ways_   _To_ _Enjoy_   _Life_ eating food and enjoying it was the first step. Hence Sehun decided to take Chanyeol to a restaurant.

“What do you suggest?” Sehun asked the waitress after not being able to understand what to order, from the countless dishes on the menu card.

“I really like the baked marinated salmon fillet on a bed of Mediterranean vegetable ratatouille and creamy mash” She suggested. 

Chanyeol looked as if he was going to vomit in his mouth.

‘He’d love that, thank you.”

“When did you loose your appetite?” Sehun asked as the waitress left.

“I don’t know a months ago, what about you?”

“I haven’t” Sehun lied, he needed to be motivated, “Food. Fun. Eat” he added cheerily.

Chanyeol raised his brow, “You had black coffee for breakfast”

Sehun sighed, “what I am saying is we should look at your diet, it will help. You are obviously fit, I mean you work out a lot” Sehun could feel his face heating recalling the shower incident, shoving the thought aside he added “I don’t see you eating, where do you even get energy from?”

“It’s from when I’m stripping, you know? When I’m on stage, dancing with the boys.”

Sehun laughed at that, Chanyeol was smiling too. It felt _nice_.

The enormous plate of food looked quite dreadful. Sehun picked up his fork and knife unsure where to even begin with.

“Mmm, this is good. Is yours good?” Sehun remarked. _Don’t_ _just_ _eat_ _your_ _food_ , _taste_ _it_. ”Is your mash creamy?”

“The mash is creamy” Chanyeol played along, “the carrot is carroty”

After discussing about the food for awhile they both realised that pretending was hard enough.

“Why did you marry him?” Chanyeol suddenly asked out of nowhere. 

Sehun took a few moments to compose his thoughts before he spoke, “Honestly i always had my doubts. Even on the day of my wedding people thought it was happy tears but I was crying out of panic, but I didn’t want to hurt and I didn’t know what to do I went along with it”

“You married him because you didn’t want to hurt his feelings?”

“Keep eating. That is why I ended our marriage, I didn’t want to keep hurting him anymore”

Chanyeol pondered then nodded his head, “That’s fair point”

Sehun pushed the food around on his plate “I loved him, but I have a theory about love. I think that, however good it is, some love isn’t meant to be for ever.”

Chanyeol looked quiet after that, he finally dropped his cutlery on the plate, “Can I stop now? I can’t eat anymore”

Sehun himself put down his own fork in relief too, dropping the act of enthusiastic eating.

So maybe the part of enjoying the food didn’t really work out. But that didn’t demotivate him. Sehun recalled the second tip from the book

 _Go_ _for_ a _walk_ _in_ the _park_. _Don’t_ _just_ _walk_ , _take_ _in_ _your_ _surroundings_ , _remark_ _on_ _the_ _beauty_ _of_ _the_ _life_ _around_ _you_. 

“Let’s go for a walk”

                          ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

Despite the extreme cold they made their way to Yongsan Park, bundled up against the chill they wandered around the walled garden, the sculptures by the duck pond - Sehun made sure to pull Chanyeol away quickly in case he felt the sudden  _urge_ to jump in. Even though the rose garden was a complete disappointment with no display of colours at this time of the year, just dry and bleak they still choose to sit and take a break. Ignoring the icy wind hitting his face Sehun took the opportunity to know more about Chanyeol. 

“So did you buy Anna flowers?”

“Yeah. But no flowers on Valentine’s Day, I wasn’t allowed to buy flowers on Valentines day because that is too _cliched_ ” then Chanyeol gave a smile like he was thinking of something funny.

“What is it?”

“Nothing it’s personal...stupid _really_ ”

The smile was intriguing and Sehun wanted to see the softer, romantic side of Chanyeol “Cmon tell me, no secrets remember” 

“It’s nothing. We had a joke about me getting her a type of flower, that’s all”

“What kind of flower?”

“A water lily. Well, I decided to get her one. I wasn’t allowed to get her flowers for Valentine’s Day, but I thought this one would be an exception. I was in the park, saw them and thought of her. And so I went into the lake to get one”

“In your clothes?” Sehun asked incredulously.

“Yeah” Chanyeol laughed “the water went up to my waist, but I had to keep going. The park officials practically chased me out”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to steal water lilies”

“Well that’s the thing – I didn’t. I made a mistake. I got her the lily pad” Chanyeol started laughing “I was wondering why she thought they were so special”

Sehun giggled “You are an idiot. Who mistakes a lily pad for a water lily?” 

“Easy  mistake to make, if you ask me. Anna loved it though. She put a photo of us on it with candles in our apartment”

“That’s sweet” Sehun smiled “So you two are romantic then?”

“If that’s what you call it” Chanyeol shrugged, “We had fun. We have fun” he corrected himself quickly.

Weirdly Sehun felt sad, Dohyeon and he had no stories. Not that he would share but he wanted to remember for myself but there wasn’t any. Atleast Sehun had gotten a hint of their relationship, which was unlike anything he had. They were spontaneous, fun, unique it was _them_.

                           ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

Sehun opened his eyes and glanced at the clock on the bedside table, it read 3:35 am.His neck creaked from sleeping uncomfortably, he remembered watching a movie before he fell asleep and oddly enough after along time Sehun had slept peacefully. Maybethe boring movie lulled him to sleep or maybe he was just too sleep deprived.

Sehun slowly tried to get up, his mind felt too wired to stay in bed anymore. But he couldn’t move, there was a strong hand draped over his waist which definitely wasn’t his. Sehun turned to his side and met Chanyeol’s sleeping face. Sehun wasn’t sure why they were sleeping on the same bed, he guessed that Chanyeol had probably fallen asleep after him.

Sehun studied his face, he looked vulnerable in the dimly lit room. To give Chanyeol his happiness, his life back Sehun had to do better- he reminded himself and tore his gaze away. Removing Chanyeol’s arm from his waist carefully he walked out of the bedroom.

 

“What are you doing?”

Chanyeol was standing at the door, eyes full of curiosity.

Sehun was making plans, charting things in a frenzy - grids, mood boards, highlighters, bubbles, all kinds of things were flying around on large white boards.

“How much coffee did you have ?”

“Too much but that’s not the point, we officially have eleven days left. There is so much work to do” Sehun said it mostly to himself than to the other.

“I think you are having a nervous breakdown” Chanyeol folded his arms around his chest leaning on the wall.

“No I am having an _epiphany_ , you want my help right ? That’s what you’re going to get.” Grabbing the torch from the wardrobe he stuffed a bag with towels and a change of clothes “I suggest you get something warm on and bring a change of clothes because we’re going out”

“Out? Its fucking freezing and it’s like four in the morning. Where are we going?”

‘We, my friend, are going to win Anna back.”

Hearing that Chanyeol’s lips curled into a smile.

 

Thankfully Yongsan Park was open all hours, even if it wasn’t the safest place to visit at 4:45 am.

“You are crazy” Chanyeol grumbled as he followed Sehun, “Don’t you think it’s dangerous to be wandering at this hour?”

“Absolutely, But you work out you can protect me”

They made it to the pond, maybe luck was in their hands because the place was lit up with lamps hanging from the trees surrounding the area.

“See” Sehun pointed at the pond in satisfaction. Chanyeol shivered beside him.

Sehun turned to look at the other, “Dont just stand there, go get the lily pad” Sehun rubbed his gloved hands together to feel some warmth. 

Chanyeol widened his eyes in disbelief “Excuse me?”

“Why else do you think I told you to bring a change of clothes?”

“It’s minus two! I’m surprised that water hasn’t iced over”

“Well if that’s how it will be...” Sehun took off his coat and the chill ran straight to his bones. 

“You’re not going in _there_ ”

“One of us has to, and you’re clearly not doing it so” Sehun looked around the pond to find the right lily pad.

“Sehun think about the people who love you,’ he said, mock-serious.

Finding a stick Sehun dipped it in the water to check the depth. 

“You’re actually going to do this?”

The stick stopped halfway. It wasn’t deep at all. Only a few feet. Sehun could do this and he wouldn’t have to swim, it was just a few steps away. Sehun rolled his tracksuit pants high above his knees.

“Oh my god” Chanyeol laughed realising that Sehun was completely serious about this. “Look there is one near the edge, I can get that easily”

Sehun looked at the particular lily pad and grimaced immediately “No. It’s dirty and has cigarette butts on it. We don’t _want_ that one”

“You will freeze”

“I will dry, I’ll get over it” Sehun got inside the water zoning Chanyeol out, it was deeper than he had anticipated. The water went past his knees soaking his tracksuit bottoms. The floor of the pond felt soft and mushy Sehun tried not to think about what was in there. Pushing past the murky water he grabbed the lily pad and pulled it back with him. Five giant steps on the mushy floor and he was at the edge. Chanyeol held his arm out and pulled Sehun up.

Sehun’s tracksuit was clinging onto his body completely wet with the dirty pond water. Pulling out the towel he peeled his trousers and socks of drying himself.

Sehun felt a gaze on him and he looked up, Chanyeol wasn’t laughing anymore, his face was serious and unreadable, His eyes were fixed on him. 

Sehun’s thoughts had been so jumbled up because of the cold that he hadn’t realise he was just standing in his boxers.

“Can you look away ? I need to change” Sehun could feel his cheeks heating up even in the icy cold weather.

“Yah...yah. Sorry” mumbling Chanyeol turned his back to Sehun. 

Sehun changed into a clean pair of clothes with shaking hands. Chanyeol opened his coat for him and Sehun put his hands inside hugging himself, the next moment Chanyeol wrapped his arms around his body to warm him. The last time they were in this position was when Sehun had wrapped his arms around Chanyeol to stop him from falling and now he was holding him.

His chin rested on the top of Sehun’ head and Chanyeol rubbed his shoulders in an effort to keep him warm. Sehun’s heart hammered at being so close, Chanyeol’s was body pressed against Sehun’s and his scent overwhelming Sehun’s senses.

“Are you okay?” he asked, close to Sehun’s ear.

Sehun was afraid to look at him. He didn’t speak in case his voice gave away the shakiness he felt. Sehun nodded, and he wasn’t sure if he imagined it, but he felt Chanyeol’s arms wrap tighter around him.

“That was such a bad idea, Sehun” Chanyeol said, his face all dark and frowning and concerned.

‘I’m fine, really” Sehun insisted, holding his hands in front of the extractor fan. “just need a minute. We need to give this to Anna” Sehun pointed at the lily pad inside the packet.

“It’s too early in the morning she will be at bed right now, we can give her latter. You need to go home and have a hot shower”  saying Chanyeol started the car and Sehun looked away.

...

Sehun sat on his kitchen glancing at the lily pad, which looked quite impressive after he had cleaned it with a wipe and realised that the headache and the cold that he felt incoming was definitely worth it.

The phone started beeping and Sehun wondered if he should to listen to the voicemails, he knew it was Dohyeon. It will probably be more insults and hate thrown at him. 

“Is that him?” Chanyeol asked waking in the kitchen. Sehun nodded picking up the lily pad in is hand.

“Why does he call at the same time everyday?”

“This is when he is dressed up and sitting at the kitchen table, having a cup of tea and melt down - thinking about ways to insult me”

Sehun felt Chanyeol watching him but he didn’t look up. 

“Are you going to listen?”

“Probably” Sehun sighed finally looking up “because this is like my punishment for leaving him”

Chanyeol frowned “Jesus. Why would you analyse shit like this? Can I listen?” 

Sehun nodded and then he watched how quickly Chanyeol’s expression changed listening to the message, forehead creasing and lowering, eyebrows raising, mouth opening in surprise displaying how entertaining Dohyeon’s insults were. Hanging up Chanyeol laughed, eyes shining “You are going to love this one. He is _unreal_ ” the phone beeped again in his hand “Oh there is another one”

Chanyeol chuckled at the entertainment provided to him in Sehun’s expense. Chanyeol dialled the voicemail and started listening. His smile froze and the shine from his eyes disappeared.

Sehun’s heart pounded. After thirty second Chanyeol got down from the counter and handed the phone awkwardly to Sehun, refusing to meet his eyes.

“What did he say?”

“Nothing serious”

“You were so eager to tell me the first message what happened?”

“Ah, yes that was about your friend Hana? I didn’t quite catch the name. He called her a whore - no he called her a slut. I don’t know. Said something about her clothes and that she goes out with so many guys, Yah that’s what” Chanyeol was rambling distractedly. 

“That’s not funny. She is my friend”

“The delivery was funny, the way he said it” Chanyeol gave a small smile, then a sad smile.

“What about the other one?”

Chanyeol didn’t reply instead he walked away. Sehun immediately dialled into his voicemail. _You_ _have_ _no_ _new_ _messages_.

“You deleted my message?” Sehun shouted following Chanyeol into the living room. 

“Oh I did? Sorry” Chanyeol concentrated on looking at his laptop.

“You did it on purpose. Tell me the second message” Sehun demanded.

Sehun’s shouting did nothing to him, Chanyeol’s expression softened even more he looked sympathetic which made Sehun angrier “They are my messages, just tell me”

“You don’t want to know. Okay”

The way he was staring at Sehun it made him scared thinking what personal information had his husband revealed. Sehun wanted to storm out of the apartment but he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave him even if he wanted to at that moment. Chanyeol was his responsibility, he had to watch him over. But right at the moment thanks to whatever Dohyeon had said it seemed like Chanyeol felt it was his job to protect Sehun.

                           ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feelings Feelings Feelings


	4. How To Pretend that the Feelings creeping in Your Heart Are Nothing.

Anna worked in a Cosmetics company, a modern high rise building that looked like a chequered board from the outside. Sehun was going to take care of the lily pad’s delivery. Even though Chanyeol insisted on coming with him, Sehun decided otherwise.

Sehun wanted Chanyeol to be ready for the moment they reunite, and Chanyeol wasnt anywhere ready,  not yet. Sehun couldn’t risk having Chanyeol another break down seeing her.

Sehun felt odd about meeting _her_. The Anna he had only heard about and spoken to over the phone twice and who was the reason or one of the reasons that Chanyeol had ended up his life hanging in the balance. 

Even though he knew it wasn’t all Anna’s fault but he wondered if should tell Chanyeol to move on, not to try to win her back. She was already with someone else his best friend - she’d moved on. A further rejection from Anna would break him. 

As Sehun walked across the marbled floor he realised that he resented Anna, this definitely wasn’t the right timing for negative emotions and inappropriate for him to be protective about Chanyeol.

After informing the receptionist that he had a delivery for Anna, Sehun waited. He turned back to check on Chanyeol who was standing outside the building in his beanie, the long coat closed up to his chin, his face barely visible through the glass walls of the building. 

The elevator door opened and a girl stepped out in skinny jeans, boots and a black tshirt paired with a stylish leather jacket. Her hair framing her face came up to her chin, dyed in a shade of electric blue. Odd but she pulled it off perfectly. As the receptionist pointed her over to him, She walked across the lobby gracefully, Sehun wasn’t sure why but his already wobbly confidence was crashing down like skittle and a weird sense of feeling started to settle down in him.

As soon as Anna noticed the lily pad in his hands, which wasn’t difficult to see, her face broke into a bright smile.

“Oh my God!” She beamed, her eyes already shining with tears of joy. She reached out to take the pad.

“This is probably the oddest delivery you’ve ever made” She smiled, “Seriously I can’t believe he did this. I thought he’d forgotten. It was a long time ago” Anna held the lily pad in her arms. Feeling embarrassed, she said “I’m sorry for keeping you up, you don’t need to know all this, I’m sure you’ve somewhere else to deliver to. Where do I sign?”

“I am Sehun, we spoke on the phone”

“Oh...” Her forehead crinkled, then realisation flashed over her eyes. “Sehun? Is that your name? You’ve been answering his phone?”

“Yah that’s me”

“Oh” Anna looked him up and down “I didn’t think that you were young. I mean, you sound much older on the phone.’

Sehun felt all warm inside not knowing why.  
There was an awkward silence.

“He really got this for me?”

“Yes he did, dived into the freezing lake and got soaking wet, blue lips and all” Sehun informed still feeling his head cold.

Anna shook her head. “He’s crazy”

“About you”

“Did Chanyeol say it? That He still loves me?”

Sehun nodded “He really does” for some reason his throat tightened, bad timing perhaps he cleared his throat and added “I don’t know why he chose lily pads instead of flowers”

Anna looked down to the lily pad and it was when she noticed the tiny lips wrapped in red foil. Chanyeol had added them on at the last minute. Sehun recalled these were the same chocolates that were scattered on the bed in the hotel suite with champagne and the proposal.

“Oh my” Anna whispered picking up a chocolate she examined the tiny lip.

“You know what they are?”

Sehun shook his head.

  
“He made them for me the year we first met. Red lips are, well, kind of my trademark” She pointed to her own glossy red lips, “He always said red looks good on me”

“He knows how to make chocolate?” Sehun laughed, feeling doubtful and confused.

“Well, not personally, obviously, but his company”

“The company …?” Sehun asked trying to figure it all out.

“Yes being the owner of Blizz he designed it just for me, these were never available in the market” She laughed some more and tipped her head back to stop her tears from falling.

Sehun was in shock but he played it cool, he decided not to give Anna the satisfaction of knowing that Sehun had no idea about the chocolate company.

“Tell him I remember” Anna said smiling.

“He’s still there, you know,’ Sehun replied earnestly “He’s as funny and spontaneous as you remember. Maybe not exactly like when you first met. But he makes me laugh all the time”

Anna studied him closely for a few seconds “Does he?”

Sehun felt his cheeks growing hot. His eyes automatically went down to his simple clothes which he had picked in a hurry, he ran fingers through his dark hair having nothing else to do.

“You really are looking after him aren’t you?”

“Yah I guess, anyway, I should let you get back to work now.”

“I hope he knows how lucky he is to have someone like you” Anna pushed it a little further.

Sehun could help his eyes filling a little “I’m only doing my job” He flashed her the brightest smile he could muster.

“And what job is that?”

“A friend” Sehun said, taking a few steps away. “I’m a friend, that’s all”

Saying he turned and left, feeling his face blazing. Sehun was almost thankful for the icy breeze that hit his cheeks as soon as he stepped outside the building, He kept walking, feeling Anna’s eyes on him.

What did just _happen_? Anna spoke as if she knew something about his feelings that Sehun himself didn’t, she made him feel guilty for feeling something that he couldn’t possibly feel.

He was supposed to get them together, not to start having feelings for Chanyeol. It was wrong and ridiculous.

“Hey” Sehun turned around startled hearing an excited voice close to his ear.

“What the hell?”

“What’s wrong? Are you crying?”

“No, I’m not crying” Sehun snapped “l think I’m getting a cold” He rubbed his eyes.

  
“Well Its not that surprising since you swam in pond in the middle of the night. So what did she say?” Chanyeol was standing so close to Sehun, he was so excited, so eager to hear the words, searching for her reactions on his face.

Sehun coldly cut out his emotions and told him the whole conversation, only not the part where Anna questioned about him. “She was really happy, She asked if you still love her, I said someone who jumps into subzero water to get a lily pad must really love someone. I told her that you haven’t changed” 

“But I didn’t get it, you did it for me” Chanyeol fixed Sehun with his brown eyes which usually made his heart soar but right now it made his heart ache.

“It doesn’t matter, the point is she knows how you feel” Sehun started moving, he needed to get away.

“Where are you going?” Chanyeol enquired following him.

“Anywhere...I am feeling cold”

“Oh Okay. But did she like the chocolates?”

“Yes absolutely, she was crying. You made her _chocolates_. Why didn’t you tell me about the company! I have always loved chocolates from Blizz, you are the owner?”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes, “No my father is, the company that I refuse to work for”

Sehun shook his head, “I still can’t believe” it was one of the most well known companies in the country. “Well as a token of appreciation what chocolate would you design for me when all this ends?”

“Umm” Chanyeol tapped his chin making a show of him thinking deeply “Black coffee flavour shaped like an espresso mug because all I see you is drinking coffee” he joked.

Sehun scoffed “That’s very unoriginal” Chanyeol pouted at that.

They both fell silent as they made their way to the Hannam bridge, Sehun instinctively grabbed Chanyeol’s hand in his, knowing that he wouldn’t trying jumping not today, not after seeing Anna so happy. But Sehun still couldn’t help but worry. Chanyeol didn’t protest, they walked hand in hand even after they got off the bridge.

“Does the company know about everything that happened with you?” Sehun asked.

Chanyeol inhaled sharply “of course not, they can’t know”

“They can’t know that you tried to commit suicide”

“I told you to stop using that word” Chanyeol dropped Sehun’s hand immediately.

“But that’s what you did, and the company is one of the reason why you did”

Chanyeol didn’t reply and they felt a long silence.

“Where to now?”

“I guess Il head home Chanyeol, I feel tired” Sehun sighed

Finally he turned around to face Sehun looking concerned and a little disappointed “Are you okay?”

“Yah am fine” Sehun smiled trying to sound upbeat, “I need to rest”

Getting inside the car, Sehun watched Chanyeol staring at him, thoughtfully.

“What?” Sehun asked

“Roses” Chanyeol simply retorted.

“I love roses”

“And the chocolate would be in the shape of a rose”

Realising what he meant Sehun smiled, “You’re good” he acknowledged “All the more reason for me to keep you alive”

“You mean there is more than _one_ reason?” Chanyeol joked closing the door.

  
 _Yes_ , _Yes_ , _there_ _is_. Sehun thought to himself as he watched Chanyeol make his way around the car.

                          ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oblivious Chanyeol and a short chapter.


	5. How To Have Your Cake and Eat It.

“We are out of milk” Sehun announced sighing into the fridge, and slammed the door with a thud. “I need to buy groceries”

“I think I should pay for the groceries” chanyeol said suddenly.

“What? No” Sehun replied with a huff. “I wasn’t trying to suggest that. I don’t take hand-outs” Sehun said firmly.

Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “This isn’t a hand-out. I owe you for your services anyway”

Sehun stared at the other for a few seconds before he opened his mouth to answer.

“Chanyeol I’m not charging you for this. I’m not doing this for money. I’m trying to save your life. You living will be enough payment for me” Sehun’s eyes filled, and he had to look away. He started looking for something in the kitchen shelves, not knowing what exactly he was searching. Sehun was losing the plot.

“But you’ve cancelled all your appointments for two weeks. I’m costing you”

“I don’t think of it like that” Sehun mumbled still facing the cupboard fingers trailing along wood.

“That is because you’re a kind person. Now let someone be kind to you, I believe you’re going through a particularly bad time yourself and I haven’t seen anyone come to your aid once. I don’t see anyone trying to help you” he said, watching Sehun.

Chanyeol’s comments took him by surprise.

He knew his family might be odd but they were by his side. Sehun had considered their aloofness towards him as them giving him respectable distance just like his friends who had probably picked side too. 

He returned to thinking about his money woes. Eventually he was going to have to talk to Dohyeon about giving him back the money they had in their joint account.

The message Sehun had received from him that morning was that he had withdrawn all their money.

“So anyway, this might make you feel better. I need your help about something” Chanyeol said, changing the subject, “I need your help in getting a present for Anna”

“Sure” Sehun said, feeling uncomfortable and confused over how his heart sank even further just at the mention of her.

“You see, it’s her birthday—“

“What?!” Sehun snapped out of it. “When is it her birthday?”

“Today. Why are you so angry?”

“And you’re only telling me this now? this is a huge opportunity to win her over. We could have spent days planning this”

“I’d been trying to think of a gift myself, but nothing seems good enough. There’s the usual stuff – jewellery, diamonds, holidays – but we’ve done it all”

“What did you get her last year?”

‘We went to Paris” Chanyeol looked at him and Sehun’s resentment for Anna soared for some reason. 

Quickly pushing the thoughts away he went to his bedroom and picked up the book for inspiration. The next chapter was all about the benefits of learning to cook. He chucked the book across the room, not exactly happy with its solution. In fact, he was unimpressed by any of its solutions to date. Cooking as therapy? Cooking as a way to win Anna over? Unless he cooked her dinner....but how could that work?

“Is there any way you can find out where she will be on her birthday? Speak to her friends? Family? Without making a big deal, of course.” Sehun asked.

Chanyeol appeared at the bedroom door. He always stopped right there, never crossing over the threshold into Sehun’s private space.

“Our birthdays are in the same week, so usually we celebrate them together” Chanyeol said. “Her friends are taking her to the Golden Palace Bistro” 

“How do you know this?”

He looked sheepish “I just know, I happened to hear a message on Theo’s voicemail”

“How could you happen to hear that?”

“Because my best friend is an idiot who never remembers to change the pin code for his voicemail. I’ve been listening to his messages since Monday”

Sehun gasped. “I didn’t know you could do that”

“So you obviously haven’t changed your code”

Sehun made a mental note to do it immediately “It doesn’t matter, you listen to my voicemails anyway” He thought of the message Chanyeol had heard and deleted. It was killing him to know what Dohyeon had said, but he couldn’t ask because in a way he didn’t want to hear the answer so Sehun moved on.

“So what have the messages said?’

“He is worried about Anna cause she is a being a bit distant these days, ever since Sunday when I found out about them, but even more over the past few days. I suppose they have taken a break, or she’s asked for space, to think”

“About you?“ Sehun whispered.

Chanyeol shrugged but there was light glimmering in his brown eyes.

“Yes !” Sehun held his two hands up.  
They high-fived and then suddenly Chanyeol pulled him into a hug.

“Thank you” Chanyeol said into his ear, both arms wrapped tight around Sehun’s waist.

His warm breath left goose bumps all over his body

“No problem” Sehun said voice muffled against the others shirt, wanting to stay there. But he forced himself to pull away “Now let’s get busy”

“What are we doing?”

“You may have given her Paris last year but this year, my friend, you are going to bake her a birthday cake.”

 

                         ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

 

The cooking class was mainly made up of couples, of all ages. There was also a group of three girls in their early twenties who seemed to get a case of the giggles as soon as Chanyeol walked in.

The cooking instructor welcomed all to the class and everyone gathered around a main work bench. The more serious couples took notes while Sehun and Chanyeol barely listened, and then it was their turn to start making the cakes. Chanyeol folded his arms and looked at him. He was telling how he was there because he had to be, not because he wanted to be. Ignoring him Sehun took the butter brush and began brushing the pan.

After a few minutes Sehun realised he wasn’t really enjoying himself specially when he was getting frustrated at the flour stuck in uneven patterns to the tray and looked like a claggy mess. He wasn’t particularly a fan of cooking, baking even less so, and instead of Chanyeol experiencing another ‘joy’ of life, It was rather joyless.

“Okay, time for you to do your bit now – make the batter” Sehun said pushing the eggs towards Chanyeol. 

“You have to separate the eggs” Sehun handed the bowl across to him.

“I don’t know how to do that. You’re separated, you can do it”

“Ha ha” Sehun gave a dry unimpressed laugh “You keep getting funnier and funnier”

“It’s all this joyful living you’re making me do.”  
Chanyeol smiled and cracked an egg and looked at Sehun thoughtfully for a moment.

“What, have I got flour on my face?”

“No. Just observing you, that’s all”

“Chef! Are we concentrating?’ the instructor called him out. A few heads turned and Chanyeol tried to look busy.

The young girls laughed together over what seemed to be a joke or suggestive remark, or at least Sehun imagined it was from the way they were watching Chanyeol.

Chanyeol cracked the egg and complained about the feel of the white on his fingers. He put the broken yolk in one bowl, white and egg shells in the other. He was worse on the second, better on the third.

Sehun poured vanilla and lemon extract in it and started to fluff the egg whites while Chanyeol went into a daydream, no doubt thinking of his precious Anna, Sehun couldn’t help it.

Without thinking he flicked Chanyeol on his forehead to bring him back from his trance forgetting that his fingers were still slicked in butter and bits of egg white. 

Chanyeol looked at him in surprise, then scowled as he touched his forehead and felt the stickiness on his fingers from the batter.

He picked up the bowl from the bench in an instant and threw the content towards Sehun to get back at him, who tried to move away quickly but failed and the mixture landed on his face. It was childish and rather silly but Chanyeol pointed to him and started laughing louder than Sehun had ever heard him before.

It was a beautiful, free sound that Sehun didn’t even feel the slightest bit of irritation at the sticky liquid being thrown at him. 

The instructor stopped talking, the class turned around to stare at them. Chanyeol apologised to everyone but couldn’t quite manage to keep it together.

They all looked at Sehun, The egg white dripped from his chin and he smiled at them all.

 

“If I’d known putting egg whites on my chin would make you laugh I’d have done it days ago” Sehun smiled as they both waited outside the kitchen during their short break.

“You” Chanyeol looked at him, his face alive, his eyes bright.

“You’re a tonic. They should prescribe you for depression instead of pills”

Sehun was truly flattered by the compliment, it was been awhile that he had felt appreciated by someone.

Before decorating the cake they had to take it out of the oven. It was the only cake in the whole class to collapse in the middle. Almost magically, before their very eyes as soon as it hit the air, the centre collapsed in a little poof.

Seeing the disaster that was their cake Chanyeol was in stitches, it was contagious laugh and soon Sehun was joining in, though he was laughing at him laughing at … Sehun wasn’t sure exactly.

Both of them were politely but swiftly asked to leave the class for causing a commotion.

  
....

 

“This is the ugliest cake I’ve ever seen” Chanyeol said chuckling.

He held the cake while Sehun sprayed. The first application was a disaster, Sehun hadn’t shaken the can enough and the cream exploded in a disappointing puff of air, spattering the cake and Chanyeol’s face and hair.

“I’d say that’s twenty per cent on the cake, eighty per cent in my face”

This sent Sehun into fit of laughter and it took a good few minutes before he could steady his hand enough to have another go. Sehun successfully covered the top in spray cream. When he finished Chanyeol looked at it thoughtfully then with a not-so-steady hand he sprinkled the red coloured sprinkles across the surface in the shape of a lip.

‘What do you think?’ He showed it to the shopkeeper.

The old man gave an unimpressed nod clearly displeased with the decoration. 

“Perfect” Chanyeol declared studying it from all angles.

“It’s the worst looking cake to exist in the history of cakes”

“Good, she will know that I made it”

Chanyeol picked a football shaped candle and stuck it on the top completing the whole look saying how Anna absolutely hated football. 

Before getting in the car suddenly Chanyeol’s face lit up as he looked at Sehun in amazement “Sehun I wish the world was filled with people like you, do you know that?’ he laughed

 _So_ _fill_ _your_ _world_ _with_ _me_! Sehun shouted at Chanyeol in his head.

 

                         ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

  
They stood outside the bistro and watched Anna and her friends through the window as discreetly as they could without being seen by them or being asked to leave by staff. It was freezing outside, small flakes of snow were beginning to fall. Sehun felt his feet were getting numb, his lips would barely move.

“Do you know those girls?’ He asked, barely able to move his lips to form the shape of his words.

  
Chanyeol nodded “They’re her closest friends.”

Anna had her trademark red lips and this time her sleek blue hair styled up, she was wearing a black leather dress. She looked perfect.

Sehun’s eyes drifted from her to watch Chanyeol watching her, and it was clear she was having the same effect on him. She was the kind of woman most eyes would be drawn to. And she was nice. That was the killer. Sehun wanted to resent her more than ever, but she was the perfect girl for a man like him. The two of them made a striking couple, their beauty equal and yet distinct.

It seemed like Chanyeol couldn’t tear his eyes from her, but he looked sad, as though losing her had taken away his soul.

Slowly sehun backed away a few steps and looked around, stamping his feet to get warm, anything to shake off this feeling of being in the way of their moment, he wasn’t part of their life anyway.

Suddenly he didn’t want to be there any more.

“At last!” Chanyeol exclaimed as the table was cleared for dessert.

They had delivered the cake into the restaurant. It hadn’t been a difficult task, explaining to staff that it was a surprise for the already seated birthday girl.

She looked to the girls to see who had arranged such a thing. There were more shrugs and laughs, then she questioned the waiters to make sure they had the right table. Chanyeol watched them, anxiously, and Sehun hoped that she would get that it was from him, so he wouldn’t have to hold him back from running into the restaurant to explain it.

Anna looked up from the cake, understanding dawning on her face, and started laughing. She then calmed herself to tell the other girls. Although he couldn’t hear, Chanyeol laughed along with her. By then Sehun had lost his sense of humour he just wanted to go home.

Anna stopped laughing and did a remarkable thing. She started crying. Her friends huddled around her and she was lost in a flurry of hugs and comforting words.

Sehun looked at Chanyeol, his eyes had filled too.

  
Immediately Sehun turned to leave. At that moment he honestly didn’t care if he stayed. He didn’t think Chanyeol would even notice.

“Hey, Mr Fix-It” he said softly, stopping Sehun in his tracks.

Sehun’s heart fluttered at being trapped under his gaze.

“You’re a genius, do you know that?” Chanyeol said. 

  
Sehun felt an odd kind of relief but it was tinged with sadness. He didn’t have time to dwell on his feelings because Anna had put on her coat and was leaving the restaurant.

They both quickly walked away, moving as far from the restaurant as possible. When they were at a safe distance Sehun turned and saw that Anna was standing outside the restaurant.

They watched her. Her phone illuminated in her hand. Chanyeol’s phone started ringing. He quickly silenced it but looked at the screen hungrily.

“Don’t answer”

“Why not?”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You need her to really miss you and want you. Besides, you’re still angry, I can sense it. You’ll say the wrong thing and chase her away”

“Like Dohyeon?”

Sehun turned his face away from Chanyeol hearing his words.

“Did you want him to try to get you back?’ he asked after a while.

Sehun smiled sadly. They hadn’t spoken much about his ex husband not seriously “He didn’t even try. I wouldn’t have gone back, but it would have been nice if he’d tried. He never wanted anything enough. Not even me”

“Maybe he is trying. The voicemails. The phone calls …”

Before Sehun could reply Chanyeol’s phone signalled a voicemail.

“Let me hear” Sehun murmured.

“Hey it’s me” Her voice was soft, gentle, it was clear how she was feeling, Sehun didn’t need to hear any more, but he listened all the same. “I got your cake,’ she laughed. “It’s the ugliest, most thoughtful cake I’ve ever received. Thank you. You’re crazy” She laughed again. “I missed that part of you, but, feel like you’re back. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I was worried. I didn’t know what to do. Theo was there and he cared and cares about you too, you know. Don’t hate him. I’m calling to say thank you. I need to see you, call me”

Chanyeol was grinning from ear to ear.

Suddenly out of sheer happiness Chanyeol lifted Sehun up and he laughed so loudly in the dark cold empty street that it drifted towards Anna outside the restaurant.

But they needn’t have worried because all she would have seen was two people in the dark, having fun together, hiding in the shadows, quite possibly in _love_.

 

                        ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn It’s been a long time ! But am back at updating the story Hopefully people are still invested in this story :/ and Il probably post an angsty Chanhun fic soon which has been sitting in my drafts for too long!


	6. How To Make Everything Absolutely Okay Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some business talk so uhh bear with it because it’s important to the story.

They sat together in the restaurant, Sehun with a salad and Chanyeol with his hot chicken dish. In no time they both had cleared their plates.

“Look how far we have come, we could barely finish our meals before” Chanyeol laughed.

The sound of his laugh made Sehun’s stomach flip. The fact that all this was coming to an end made him loose his appetite all over again. Thankfully Chanyeol started speaking pulling Sehun out of his turmoil. 

“Today...today I am feeling kind of _renewed_ , like me but a better version of me” Chanyeol looked at Sehun intently and Sehun looked away afraid that his eyes would reveal too much.

“ _God_ Is this because you think you have won Anna over?” Sehun focused on staring at the salt and pepper canisters on the table.

Chanyeol seemed confused by the question.

“What I’m asking is, are you ready to move on and get to the rest of the business?”

Chanyeol had met his cousin, Sangmin in the morning to talk about the business. Chanyeol breathed in “That didn’t go too well”

“What did your cousin say?”

“I wanted to see him, i haven’t talked to him since he was twelve. There is a lot of bad blood between my uncle and my father. My grandfathers will specifically says If I don’t take over the business it falls over to Sangmin. I wanted to know what his intentions were”

“You wanted a truce”

“Sehun, I wanted to him say that he would run the company just like how it is now. But he started talking about merging his fathers business with our confectionery. Merging the companies would help both brands I agree, they both belong to our families after all. But Sangmin is as bitter as my uncle he wants to unite the companies and sell it so the rest of his life he would never have to lift a finger to work anymore”

Chanyeol looked off, the aggression was starting to build inside of him.

“But selling the company sounds like it would solve your problem”

“There is no way I can let him sell Blizz confectionery, there are lot of people relying on me. It pays the wages of hundreds of workers. I want to see the company to end up in right hands I owe that much to my father” Chanyeol ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“If you had jumped that day, or if you do _jump_ where would that leave the company?” Sehun asked gently.

Chanyeol shot back a look at Sehun, his jaw tightening “If I jumped I wouldn’t have to worry about this _sorry_ mess anymore that was the fucking point” he threw the money on the table and left the restaurant.

 

                      ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

 

Sehun sat in front of his fathers desk, who was staring at him blankly.

“Why are you doing this?”

Sehun took a deep breath closing his eyes, “I am trying to fix things, I am trying to help him”

“You are not his therapist”

“I know that” Sehun remarked defensively “He won’t see a real therapist so...”

His dad went silent, for once he spoke seriously “You have taken a lot on here son”

“Yes am aware of that and all with all due respect I didn’t come here to get lectured so can we get back to the subject?”

 

“Is Sehun here to talk about the _bridge_ _guy_?” Baekhyun sneaked inside the room and sat down beside their father. Followed by Jongdae carrying a packet of fries.

“His name is Chanyeol” Sehun snapped “Have a little respect”

  
“Ooo-oooh” the three of them said in unison.

  
“Have you kissed yet?” Baekhyun asked excitedly.

“ _No_ ” Sehun frowned. “I helped him get back with his girlfriend. And next I’m going to sort out his job. I need help, what do you guys think? Can you help me? I don’t understand the legal stuff”

They all shrugged. Jongdae mumbled _how_ _boring_ under his breath.

‘You’re all lawyers but you all are useless!” Sehun declared, getting to his feet. “I know people who go to their families for advice and they actually help”

“That’s in the Hollywood movies” Dad commented dismissively.

“Dad!” Sehun whined in agitation.

“I can try to help you with the legal advice, but I’ll tell you one thing, you can give him all the help in the world, but unless he learns to fend for himself, it’ll be useless” They were all silent. It was surprisingly a valid point even for his Dad.

“Have you bought a suit for the birthday party yet, what are you wearing?” Jongdae chimed in.

“I am concentrating on keeping the birthday boy alive” Sehun replied still distracted over his fathers words.

“You are not going to miss a bash like that?”

“It’s hardly the bash of the year. He’s only twenty seven”

“No, but it’s the night they’ll announce that he’s taking over company from his father, which is a big deal”

Sehun swallowed “Where did you hear all that?”

“The Times. Business page” Sehun’s dad lifted it up the newspaper and showed it to him  
“Your boy is being handed a dynasty”

“He doesn’t want it” Sehun said quietly, panic for to swell in his chest.

Long after Sehun had left his dad’s he couldn’t help but think about how he shouldn’t be trying to fix Chanyeol, instead just be there for him and let him to do the work on his own.

  
                      
                         ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

 

“What’s ridiculous?” Sehun asked.

“Going back to Busan”

“How are you going to not take over the company if we don’t go to the company to sort it out?”

“We can’t sort it out, it’s in my grandfather’s will. There’s no way of changing it. This trip will be a total waste of time” Chanyeol’s voice was hard.

Sehun didn’t know exactly how they were going to sort this out but where there was a will, there was a way and Chanyeol had to face up to his responsibilities sooner or later. The prospect was making him moody, fidgety.

Chanyeol left the room “So this is my last time here?” he said from the living area.

Sehun realised that he had a problem with people leaving him, and him leaving too.

“You are moving on, Chanyeol, This is a good thing”

He nodded, not believing a word of it.

“Do you think Anna, your whole family will blame me because I stayed with you for two weeks and didn’t actually get you a proper help?”

Hearing Sehun’s words Chanyeol frowned, studying his face as if searching for something more. Sehun had to look away to avoid his gaze. 

“They wouldn’t blame you, I wouldn’t let them” Chanyeol was getting visibly upset at how Sehun was being affected by this. 

Then his phone rang.

‘“It’s Anna” Chanyeol handed it to Sehun.

Sehun stared at it, wanting to hang up straight. He swallowed. “Talk to her, Invite her to your party. If you want to” 

“Are you sure?” Chanyeol looked uncertain.

“Of course” Sehun was confused by his reaction “Don’t you want her to be there?”

The phone kept ringing.

“Yeah, only, you know....” Chanyeol trailed off

They stared at each other.

Sehun wasn’t sure what Chanyeol was thinking, but he knew what he himself was thinking. _Don’t_ _answer_ _it,_ _don’t_ _fall_ _in_ _love_ _with_ _her_ , _fall_ _out of lov_ e _with her. Love me_. _I love_ _you_. 

The phone stopped ringing, leaving the room completely silent. Chanyeol didn’t even look at the phone in his hand. He swallowed hard and took a step towards Sehun.

The phone rang again and Chanyeol froze.

Then he answered it and walked out of the room.

                               
                       ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

  
Sehun had found Chanyeol sitting on the bench in the backyard garden, his back hunched. The moment Sehun saw the look on Chanyeol’s face he immediately knew something bad had happened and he was right his dad had passed away.

They both sat in the Park’s chauffeur driven car as if nothing had happened, when of course everything had happened, he had lost his dad and had to make arrangements for the funeral and also Chanyeol was now officially head of the company.

Chanyeol was silent gazing out of the window grabbing every scenery that went past them. Sehun wondered if him being there was imposing, Chanyeol probably would have preferred to be alone right now.

Sehun looked at Chanyeol to see if he was okay and Chanyeol was staring at him. Sehun had caught him.

Chanyeol cleared his throat looking away. “What were you doing on the bridge that Sunday night? You never told me”

Sehun was taken back at the sudden query. He didn’t expect Chanyeol to ask him.

“The bridge is one of the very few memories I have of my mother” Sehun closed his eyes “I can see her looking at the light show, the lights glinting off her eyes beautifully, she looked happy and I remember that moment more than anything”

Chanyeol gazed at Sehun, big brown eyes searing his soul. There was that gentleness and softness in his look that Sehun had been craving all along. 

Finally the car slowed down and Sehun sat up, eager to catch a glimpse of the place where Chanyeol had grown up. The plaques on the grand pillars announced ‘ _Park_ _Manor_ ’. The driveway went on for miles. The trees fell away to reveal a wide open green before an enormous house.

“Wow”

Chanyeol looked unimpressed.

The car pulled up in front of the sweeping steps which led to a huge door, an older woman welcomed them. Mia, she was the housekeeper.

She warmly embraced Chanyeol “I am sorry for your loss”

He stiffened in her hold “Thanks, this is Sehun. He will be staying for a few days”

                     

                         ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━⋅𖥔

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A cliffhanger !!


	7. How To Pick Yourself Up and Dust Yourself off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update? Because I can :P

Since Chanyeol had set foot in his house he became cold and detached. 

Sehun checked on Chanyeol again, he was definitely asleep. His hands lay palms up behind him on the bed, his blond hair fell over one of his eyelids and Sehun reached out to move it. Chanyeol didn’t wake and Sehun’s finger remained on his soft skin a little longer.

His lips were together, pouting that way he did when he concentrated. It made Sehun smile.

Mia appeared at the open door, and knocked gently to get Sehun’s attention. Sehun was startled and pulled back his hand as if caught doing something wrong. He wondered how long she had been there. She smiled at him.

“Well..” she looked across at his sleeping body

“There was a phone call for Chanyeol”

  
“You can tell him later. Or is it urgent?”

  
“It was Anna”

  
“Oh”

  
“She tried calling his mobile, but he’s not answering. She wants to know if he wants her here”

“Oh…” Sehun looked at Chanyeol and tried to figure out what to do. He knew with the current state of mind that Chanyeol had letting Anna see him like this would send her running straight back into Theo’s arms. He would have to talk to Chanyeol about this when he wakes up.

“I think he would prefer her not to be here, but it’s not because he’s upset with her. Please let her know that”

“Okay. I’ll tell her” Mia said gently. She casted a quick look at Chanyeol again.

It was when she was down the hall that Sehun chased her “Mia...” Sehun wrung his hands together. “It’s not what you think... We’re not…together. He’s not very well lately, he’s having a few problems, personally”

Mia nodded in understanding “Chanyeol has always been sensitive and hard on himself, since he was child. He can’t let go of things easily”

“Thank you for telling. I haven’t taken my eyes off him for the whole weekend” Sehun explained.

“Most people can’t” Mia smiled and Sehun could feel the blush creeping up his cheek.

 

   ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

 

When Sehun returned having a discussion with Mr Lee, who was the right hand man of Chanyeol’s father. Sehun had explained him the business situation, Sehun was glad that the advice his dad had given him was working. After the conversation they had been able to come down to a fairly positive conclusion.

When he reached Park Manor and found a flushed face Mia standing infront of Chanyeol’s door.

“What is it?” Sehun enquired in confusion. He could hear Chanyeol’s impatient voice from inside the room.

“He kept saying he wanted to go for a walk, but since you told me before going out that I should keep an eye on him. I locked his door. He is very angry” she whispered.

“You didn’t have to lock his door. Anyway Il take care of it” Sehun raised his voice, “Chanyeol it’s okay am here. I am opening the door”

When the key clicked in place and the door flew open. Sehun was so surprised by the sudden force that he didn’t have time to move. Chanyeol came bounding out, as he bumped past Sehun, but he was too angry to stop and apologise and Mia caught Sehun’s hand as he stumbled back a few feet.

 

“Oh dear, my dear, are you okay?”

Nodding Sehun ran down the stairs.

  
“I want to be alone” Chanyeol said, power-walking out of the house and taking a left that led to a pathway along the lake.

Sehun had to jog to keep up with him.

“SEHUN!” Chanyeol yelled in his face. “GO AWAY” He shouted so loudly it echoed around the lake, reverberated in Sehun’s head, hurt his ears, made his heart bang in his chest. The flash of anger in Chanyeol’s eyes, the single vein that throbbed in his forehead and the veins that protruded from his neck. 

Sehun felt alone, suddenly so very alone as he watched Chanyeol turning away and leaving him. And he let him go. 

Sehun felt an odd sort of calm as he sat in the boathouse and looked out to the lake, dark and still. He didn’t bother to wipe the tears anymore which were falling uncontrollably.

He doesn’t how long it was but when he heard footsteps behind him he felt his heart pounding in his chest.

Chanyeol sat down next to him. Sehun held up a hand to stop him from coming any closer. Sehun bit on his lip to ward off a fresh bout of crying.

Chanyeol cleared his throat but was quiet for a while longer. It was the right thing to do; sitting together, being in each other’s company, was itself warming the chilly air between them.

“I’m sorry” Chanyeol said, and even after he’d taken so long to say it, it still felt sudden.

“Where did you go?” Sehun asked eyes lingering on the frozen lake infront of them.

“To let off some steam. Scared off a couple of hares and deer”

Sehun couldn’t help a giggle escaped his lips.

“That’s better” Chanyeol murmured gently “I hate seeing you cry” He reached out and wiped a stray tear from Sehun’s cheek. He closed his eyes and another one fell.

“Hey” Chanyeol said, sliding across the bench and putting his arm around Sehun.

Sehun felt a lump in his throat as he rested his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder and he kissed the top of Sehun’s head.

“And you promised me you wouldn’t tell anyone about what happened in the bridge. That made me angry”

“I didn’t tell anyone” Sehun looked up to see Chanyeol’s face.

He looked at Sehun with skepticism.

“I didn’t” Sehun moved away from Chanyeol “I wouldn’t lie to you” And as if to prove it, he said immediately “I’d told Mia to keep an eyes on you because you are having some personal issues—“

“That’s telling in a way that there is something wrong with...me” Chanyeol didn’t shout this time but the bitterness was evident in his voice.

It was Sehun’s turn to explode “Do you think nobody noticed that there is something wrong? I had to go out and I was worried that I had to leave you. I didn’t think she would lock you up” saying it out loud sounded slightly funny. Even though Sehun was angry he smiled.

“It’s not funny” Chanyeol commented, startled.

“I know” Sehun agreed but the corner of his lips kept twitching “It is a little” he added smiling widely.

Chanyeol’s forehead creased, “Glad you find it funny” he deadpanned. “Anyway where did you go?”

“I had a proposal for Mr Lee, he is your dad’s right hand man right? So I wondered if you could be the chairman of the board which legally fulfills your grandfathers wish. And Mr Lee could step in as the Managing Director of the company. That way he could be in control and you will be able to convince your boss to keep your editor job at the Magazine”

“So I’d be on the board of the Company and still will be able to keep my job?” Chanyeol asked raising his eyebrow questioningly.

“Yes like batman”

Chanyeol thought about it for awhile and his face broke into the biggest smile.

“Don’t go overboard with the happiness. But this solves your problem right?”

“Absolutely. Thank you” Chanyeol sounded pleased. Then he was leaning back on the bench lost in his thoughts.

“Let’s play a game of Never have I ever” Sehun blurted out pulling Chanyeol out of his daydream.

Chanyeol heaved a sigh turning to face Sehun “Is this one of your techniques from those _How_ _to_ _fall_ _in love_ books?”

“Well maybe I do want you to fall in _love_ ” Sehun felt Chanyeol’s eyes piercing into him.

“With life” Sehun clarified, “I want you to fall in love with life. So go on” Sehun nudged at Chanyeol’s arm.

“Never have I ever...”Chanyeol thought about it “had a lollipop”

“What?” Sehun asked laughing. 

“Well when we were kids we were told that eating lollipops were dangerous it would choke us, break our teeth and we would end up loosing an eye. So I never had one. Your turn”

Sehun chuckled. Then he licked his lips before speaking he knew what he wanted to say.  
“Never have I ever...been in love”

“But Dohyeon?” Chanyeol looked at Sehun in surprise.

“It wasn’t love. But I don’t know why. Do you think unrequited love is real love?”

“The answer is in the question isn’t it?” Chanyeol answered slowly. 

They looked at each other for a few seconds and Chanyeol stood up, “Sehun why are we even talking about this. Let’s go inside it’s freezing.”

               

Sehun felt slightly awkward as he stood beside Chanyeol in the graveside. In the distant the cameras of the paparazzi were snapping constantly. As the coffin was lowered to the ground Sehun felt a shift of Chanyeol’s body weight. Sehun instinctively reached out and took Chanyeol’s hand in his own. Chanyeol looked at Sehun in surprise.

Chanyeol’s eyes were dry but there was hint of sadness in his expression. Sehun knew that the relationship between Chanyeol and his father was broken. He had distanced himself from his family years ago but Sehun couldn’t  help but be relieved to see Chanyeol holding up well after everything. 

It seemed like the whole of the town had turned out for the funeral. The Manor was filled with rumbles of polite conversation the entire day. 

In the evening they had gotten out of the house to spend their remaining moments in Busan sitting on the boat shed, wrapped up in blankets watching the sun going down in the lake.

“Am I going to be able to do this?” Chanyeol sighed, a weary sigh.

Sehun knew he was referring to the upcoming day of his birthday. A lot of things depended on that particular night.

Sehun nodded simply, “Yes you can”

“Everything is possible with you isn’t it?”

Sehun shook his head, “Most things are possible” then he said more to himself than to Chanyeol “But not everything”

“Like what?” The most beautiful man in Sehun’s world was staring at him intently.

_Like me and you_

 

_⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are only two chapters left. Which Il be uploading today or tomorrow because I want to finish this story. Inspite of all the tension and angst like I have mentioned in the tag there is a happy ending :D also if there is anything yall want to ask feel free to do in case there is something in the story which isn’t clear.


	8. How To Prepare Yourself For A Goodbye

Late afternoon darkness began to descend and after a magical few hours, feeling as if it was just the two of them alone in the world, Sehun came back to earth with a thud. It was time to return to Seoul.

There was a comfortable silence inside the car with an occasional attempt at chat but Sehun couldn’t help but feel his stomach twisting with knots time to time. The closer they got to Seoul, the nearer Chanyeol’s birthday drew, and soon it would be time for them to say _goodbye_.

An intense two weeks came to an end before they knew it. It was the most intense two weeks of Sehun’s otherwise monotonous life - finished, just like that. There were chances they could possibly be able to see each other again, but it would never be the same, it would never be as intimate. 

“Where are we going?’ Sehun asked, sitting up.

“I booked a room in the Liberty Hotel”

Chanyeol explained. “It’s nearer the City Hall. I thought it would be easier”

Sehun felt his chest tighten and a light panic setting in. They were separating, parting ways. Perhaps it was him who had the separation anxiety and not Chanyeol. Sehun thought to himself.

“But our time’s not up yet. We have one day left. if you think you’re getting rid of me before this is done, you’re wrong. I’m sleeping on your couch”

Chanyeol smiled. “I’m fine.” He did look fine.

 

 ...

 

It was late by the time they reached the hotel and neither of them wanted to do anything other than order room service and watch TV on the enormous plasma, sitting on the enormous couch. Sehun had realised that he was more comfortable with Chanyeol just sitting in and doing nothing than he had ever been with Dohyeon.

They were easy together. The icing on the cake was that he very very much wanted to sleep with Chanyeol. Which he had little desire to do so with Dohyeon.

Unlike his ex-husband, being with Chanyeol made him feel alive. Chanyeol intoxicated him with dizzying effects. Despite the huge couch, they sat close to each other in the middle. Sehun felt like teenager with a crush. When their elbows brushed, he felt on fire and Sehun could hardly concentrate on the movie.

Sehun was afraid to move his eyes away from the TV, afraid to look at Chanyeol in case it was obvious, in case he realised the person whom Chanyeol trusted to help him out of the depths of his despair was secretly dreaming about pulling down his trousers and taking him right there on the couch.

Sehun peeked at the other from the corner of his eyes, Chanyeol was absorbed in the T.V, his plump lips slightly parted. Sehun swallowed hard and took another sip of his drink.

As if sensing Sehun looking at him Chanyeol suddenly climbed off the couch “I’m going to have a shower” announcing he left the room. The couch seemed even bigger now that there was only Sehun and he felt like an idiot.

Sighing Sehun held his head in his hands, reminding himself that Chanyeol has a girlfriend. A girlfriend that he had vowed to help fall back in love with Chanyeol before his birthday which was tomorrow. The last thing Sehun should be thinking about is having sex with him.

Putting down his wine glass, Sehun straightened himself, his cheeks blazing with embarrassment from his own thoughts.

He padded across the luxurious carpet over to his room. Changing for bed, he scrolled through his phone, there were a few missed calls from his assistant. Who he hadn’t contacted in awhile. She probably needed some help with a client case or something Sehun bit his lip wondering if he should call her back.

Deciding to deal with her latter he tossed the phone on the bedside table and looked up to find Chanyeol standing at the door. He was dripping wet, the towel wrapped low around his waist. Water dripped from his nose and chin as though he’d literally rushed from the shower without bothering to dry himself. Chanyeol absent mindedly pushed back his blonde locks, smoothed it down with his hands. Sehun was staring unashamedly, he couldn’t tear his gaze off him.

Sehun didn’t know what to say so he stood there frozen wearing nothing but his sleep shirt which barely came upto his thigh looking at Chanyeol and being _looked_ at.

Then suddenly, very suddenly, for the first time in two weeks Chanyeol stepped over the invisible barrier and he was in Sehun’s room and he was standing _close_ , Sehun’s face was in his hands and Chanyeol was looking down at him and the shower water from his hair kept dripping on to Sehun’s skin. The next moment Chanyeol’s lips were on him, a gentle brushing of his lips against Sehun’s for the longest time.

Sehun was afraid that Chanyeol was going to pull away but instead Chanyeol parted Sehun’s lips with his bottom lip and pushed his tongue inside Sehun’s mouth. When Sehun realised Chanyeol wasn’t going anywhere he lifted his hands to Chanyeol’s body and pressed closer. He felt dizzy, everything rushing around inside him like a whirlwind. Sehun literally melted and came alive at the same time.

Sehun led Chanyeol to the bed not once breaking their kiss. As they lay down Chanyeol pulled Sehun on top of him, it was a bit awkward, they both smiled looking at each other and kissed again. This time the gentleness gone and their mouths moved in an urgency, _so_ _hot_ Sehun felt like he was burning.

Having almost little to no clothes on them they quickly got rid of the otherwise obstruction leaving them on a careless pile on the floor. They took their time exploring each other, skin to skin, breaths mingling together. Chanyeol’s touch on Sehun’s body was passionate with a hint of softness. Sehun’s whole world fell away with the temperature in the room rapidly rising and the air filling up with nothing but the gasps and moans leaving their mouth and the sound of their skin slapping against each other’s.

Sehun woke up and glanced to the clock realising it was only half past two.

“Mmm” Chanyeol mumbled stirring a little in his sleep. His arms were wrapped around Sehun’s waist tightly. Sehun sighed quietly and rested his head closer to the other’s bare chest, listening to the low hum of Chanyeol’s heartbeat he slowly drifted back to sleep.

Sehun woke up from the sunlight falling into his eyes, this time no longer Chanyeol close to him, the space beside him on the bed left empty and cold.

Throwing on some clothes Sehun walked out of the room with a slight hesitation in his step. Chanyeol was already up, he was standing in the living room balcony gazing at the view outside.

The sight made Sehun smile and his heart lift up immediately.

“Hey”

Hearing Sehun’s voice Chanyeol turned around. Seeing the look on his face Sehun’s smile disappeared. There was warning bells ringing in his ears. He knew this look it was full of disappointment. Sehun felt like he had taken advantage of someone who was vulnerable. He wanted the moment to be over so he could leave.

“We shouldn’t have...I shouldn’t have..” Chanyeol tried to speak “I take full responsibility” he said finally. “I’m sorry Sehun, I shouldn’t have...come to you last night” there was a disoriented expression on his face.

“No, I should have known better” Sehun swallowed, his voice husky, sounding as if it’d had to travel a great distance.”You have Anna, the big party, big day and exciting news to share about your company. Let’s forget what happened, I am sorry for being too...” _Needy? Selfishly looking after his own needs when he should have been thinking of Chanyeol’s._ Sehun didn’t know where to start?

Chanyeol looked sad.

“It was wrong...sorry” Sehun whispered, moving quickly to the bedroom, looking away from him “I don’t want to leave you in case…”

“I’m fine” Chanyeol said. He looked exhausted, but Sehun believed him.

“I’ll see you later?” Chanyeol asked. ‘At the party?”

Sehun froze. ‘You still want me to come?”

“Of course.”

“You don’t have to—“

“I want you to be there,” Chanyeol said firmly, and Sehun nodded, hoping now that Anna would complete the picture so that Chanyeol wouldn’t need his presence anymore.

Sehun did well to last until he arrived in his flat to break down in tears.

 

  _⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔_

 

Sehun hid in bed in the flat, ignoring the phone, the door and the world. It was the first time in two weeks that Chanyeol wasn’t with him, and Sehun missed him terribly.

The doorbell rang.

Sehun threw off the covers, not caring how he looked, and dragged himself to the door. Sehun pulled open the door, half expecting to see one of his brothers instead he was faced with Dohyeon.

Dohyeon looked at him up and down clearly unimpressed with his appearance. “You look terrible”

“That’s because I feel terrible” Sehun wrapped the cardigan tightly around himself.

“Well, that’s what you get” he said childishly.

Sehun rolled his eyes ignoring the jab “What’s in the box?”

“A few of your things”

It looked more like a pathetic excuse to come over and harass him. Chargers from phones Sehun had long ago thrown out, headphones, empty CD cases.

“I knew you’d want this” Dohyeon said, clearing away the junk on the top and revealing his mother’s jewellery box.

Sehun’s eyes welled up immediately, hands flying to his face. Before it was Dohyeon’s job to comfort him now he just stood there like a stranger watching him cry.

“Thank you” Sehun sniffed. He held the box in his hands feeling uncomfortable, not knowing what to say.

“I also wanted to say—“

“No, Please no” Sehun said weakly “I have heard enough of what you have to say, I really am but I couldn’t make myself love you like you deserved. We were never right for each other. I know am in the wrong here but I am sorry that I hurt you” Sehun roughly wiped his stinging eyes.

Dohyeon swallowed, he was silent for a while and Sehun braced him for Dohyeon’s insults to come.

“I wanted to say I am sorry” Dohyeon mumbled.

That took Sehun by surprise.

“For what exactly?” Sehun asked.

“I’m sorry for the voicemail. I shouldn’t have said what I said. It was wrong”

Sehun’s heart hammered, he could only mean one voicemail, the one he hadn’t heard, the one Chanyeol had heard and deleted.

“Which one? There were an awful lot of voicemails u left for me everyday”

Dohyeon gulped “The one...the one about your mother. I wanted to hurt you in the deepest way possible”

Sehun tried to figure it out, after an awkward silence he knew what it was, he had known all along.

“You said Il kill my self like my mother did” he spoke with a trembling voice.

Dohyeon atleast looked ashamed at that.

Sehun thought of Chanyeol listening to the voicemail, so he knew that his mother had killed herself. Every time someone would say how similar Sehun was to his mother he had secretly worried that they were indeed too alike. She had been depressed all of her life and unable to fight the demons in her head she had taken her life away when he was a child.

“Sorry that I wanted to hurt you” Dohyeon said backing away slowly.

“Well you have done it” Sehun replied sadly, closing the door as Dohyeon left. He returned to his bed to hide from the world.

 

_⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t want to change the rating of the story hence no explicit smut :P


	9. How to find Positivity in a Catch-22 situation

When Sehun arrived at City Hall late, Chanyeol was standing at the main entrance greeting his guests.

Chanyeol was dazzling in his tuxedo and he took Sehun’s breath away when he stepped out of the taxi. It was only when the taxi driver shouted at him to close the door because he was letting all the heat out that Sehun realised he was completely transfixed by the sight.

Sehun didn’t really have the mood nor heart to dress up for the event so he chose to wear a rather simple black suit compared to his brothers who had already arrived and were dressed to the nine in their fancy suits. He ran his fingers through his dark hair which was uncharacteristically pushed back, letting his forehead on display.

Sehun realised Chanyeol was no longer greeting guests but had turned to watch him, Chanyeol’s eyes on him the entire way. Suddenly Sehun felt every bit as naked and exposed. 

“You look amazing” Chanyeol murmured. He was calm, solid, watchful, in control. Sehun wasn’t used to this Chanyeol.

”Uh,thanks. Dohyeon came around at afternoon. To return some stuff and apologise for the voicemail” Sehun’s eyes filled up and he focused on the shimmering lights in the room. 

“Wait, What?” Chanyeol asked, concerned.   
  


“You know what. The voicemail that you deleted. That one. He said he wanted to hurt me but he feels sorry now” 

“Sehun...” Chanyeol’s face twisted to something akin to sadness “I didn’t want you to know about that” 

He was trying to protect him and the thought made Sehun’s heart break all over again.  

“So is she here?”

Chanyeol took a moment to register the subject change, he frowned “No, Not yet”

“Oh” Sehun said, surprised “I thought she’d be here at seven”

“Me too” Chanyeol replied, looking at the door again, anxiously.

It was eight p.m.

Sehun felt an intense feeling of relief, quickly followed by dread. If it didn’t work out with Anna it wasn’t like Chanyeol was going to fall into his arms it would most likely be the nearest bridge or the tallest building. So Sehun needed Her to come and tell him she loved him. He would settle for loving Chanyeol from afar.

“Listen” Sehun pulled himself together and looked Chanyeol in the eye “ If she doesn’t come tonight I need you to think of the crisis plan. I know we had a deal, but I want you to know that you don’t have to.....” he swallowed and then hurriedly added “think of the things I taught you—“

 

“Happy birthday!” Sehun stopped speaking hearing a female voice behind him. Sehun should have felt jubilant but all he felt was a sense of defeat sinking into him again.

Chanyeol’s eyes were still on Sehun.

Anna joined them “Sorry, am I disturbing you?”

“No” Sehun shook his head blinking away his tears “I’m so glad you came” he added, his words a whisper “He’s all _yours_ ”

 

“Oh I knew it” Baekhyun said sympathetically, wrapping his arms around Sehun “You’re in love with him, aren’t you? Here” he grabbed a champagne flute from a passing tray and handed it to Sehun “Get drunk, it will numb the pain”

Sehun sipped the bubbles, wishing that were true.

“Tell me, where is this dastardly girlfriend of his that you worked so hard to get him back together with, so I can throw angry father stares in her direction” Sehun’s dad winked at him.

Sehun knew that they were trying to lift up his mood, it was his families way of being affectionate “Oh don’t, Dad” He sighed.

“They’re perfect for each other, they’re meant to be. I mean, the man was about to throw himself off a bridge if he couldn’t get her back. How romantic is that?”

“Not romantic at all” Baekhyun shrugged.

“Saving him from jumping off a bridge is far more romantic” Jongdae said smirking.

“You’re lucky you saved him” their dad spoke sadly and they all went quiet. It had been years that their mother had taken away her life, and somehow his dad had always blamed himself for not being able to persuade her to stay.

“You know what, Dad” Sehun said suddenly. “I think you did save her. She didn’t want to be here” His dad was so moved by Sehun’s words that he had to look away to compose himself.

 

  
“There she is” Sehun noted watching Anna enter the room ahead of Chanyeol.

“ _Ooh_ , I won’t know whether to shake Chanyeol’s hand or lick his face” Baekhyun wiggled his eyebrows while craning his neck to get a better view of them as they disappeared between the crowd of guests.

“Please shake his hand” Sehun said sighing.

Sehun plucked the flute from Jongdae’s hold much to his brothers protest and downed the champagne in one go.

Then there was a tapping of glass and everyone gave their attention to the man on the stage who tried to hush the crowd. The guy thanked a bunch of people probably among the guests that Sehun had no idea who they were. After talking about the passing away of Mr Park he introduced Chanyeol as the new CEO of Blizz Confectionery.

There was great cheer in the crowd as Chanyeol climbed the steps and took his place on the podium looking like a movie star.

“A friend of mine helped me word this speech tonight” Chanyeol spoke, looking out to the crowd. Anna smiled at him proudly and Sehun felt his throat tightened at that.

“I’m not the best at talking about how I’m feeling. Nights like this aren’t always the easiest as it’s overwhelming, but I’m feeling … honoured that you’ve all come here today. My father was really good at his job, He put his heart and soul into the business. In fact I think he poured so much into the business that he had very little left for the rest of _us_.”

That got a laugh from the crowd.

“I am feeling proud...to be named as his successor. I know that myself and the board along with Mr Lee, our new MD are ready for our goals for the company. I take on the traditions of my family name while at the same time looking into the future. I owe a great thank you to those who planned this evening and those it took to get _me_ here”

Chanyeol’s eyes rested on Sehun. There was a considerable silence. He cleared his throat “Thank you from a full heart”

As everyone broke into applause, Sehun moved through the crowd, hurried, he couldn’t get out of the room fast enough, He ran down a flight of stairs and locked himself in a washroom cubicle and burst into tears.

 

“Sehun, is Chanyeol in there with you?” Jongdae asked, right outside the door.

“ _Chanyeol_?! Of course not!” Sehun blurted out. He didn’t want to open the door, he didn’t want his brothers of all people to see his tear stained face.

“He’s missing,’ Baekhyun added quickly. ‘Did you hear that? They’re bringing out the cake and no one can find him”

“He is not with Anna, if that’s what you’re thinking” Jongdae quipped.

That was exactly what Sehun had been thinking.

“We asked her where he was as she was leaving. She said she had no idea” Jongdae lowered his voice and he must have come closer to the door because it sounded right on top of him “They didn’t get back together, Sehun” His voice low and urgent.

All of a sudden Sehun felt his pulse was throbbing in his ears and he could hear nothing else and couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Sehun immediately opened the door, he didn’t care about the strangers staring at him because all he could see was his brother’s concerned faces – faces that never showed concern. They were always breezy and carefree but now they looked serious and panicked.

 

“Do you know where he is?” Baekhyun enquired and Sehun wracked his brain, searching through their conversation archive for a hint of where he could be.

“No, I don’t know” Sehun mumbled , trying to think straight. ‘“I can’t believe Anna did that to him” He said angrily. Twice now she’d broken his heart – couldn’t she see how amazing he is? I should have stayed with him, what was I thinking?” Sehun shook his head dejectedly.

“Okay, don’t worry about that now, just focus on where he’d be. Think hard”

Sehun thought of the penthouse, the night they had spent together, his last night. The view of the Hangang bridge from the hotel balcony and he froze. He’d been planning it all along.

His brothers urged him to go as fast possible. There was no time to look for a ride, Sehun needed to be quick and without giving any thought he ran through the freezing temperatures. He was attracting glances and comments from people on the street.

As the bridge came nearer, Sehun saw him. In exactly the same place we’d met two weeks previously, a figure in black, standing beneath the orange glow of the three lamps casting him and the bridge in an eerie light. Despite his chest burning from the lack of air , Sehun dug deep within him for more energy and sprinted to the bridge.

“Chanyeol!” Sehun yelled, and Chanyeol turned to face him startled.

“Don’t do this, _please_!”

Chanyeol looked at him face etched with concern, sadness and surprise.

He didn’t say a word.

“I know things didn’t work out with Anna…” Sehun tried to catch his breath. “And I’m sorry about that, I’m so so sorry. I know you love her and I know you feel as though you have nothing now. That’s not true. You have the Company and there’s a room full of people who are excited about that. And you have…” Sehun wracked his brain “so much. Your health, your friends…” He gulped. “And you have _me_ ” He pointed to himself pathetically. ‘I know I’m not what you want, but I swear I’d do anything to help you, to make you happy. Truth is” Sehun took a deep breath “ _I_ _need_ _you_ ”

“Being with you … you helped me to see how beautiful life is, how fun it is. You were my original guide to happiness. You showed me that doing simple things are all you need as long as you’re doing with someone who wants to be with you. I was supposed to teach you and listen to you, god I even bought a book because I had no idea what to do!” Sehun laughed pitifully “but it was you who ended up showing me the way. And I know this isn’t what you want to hear but you helped me fall in love, not just with life but with _you_ ” Sehun swallowed.

“I don’t care if my love is requited or not, because the very thought of you makes me happy. The point I’m trying to make is that you are loved because _I_ _love_ _you_ , Please, don’t do it because _I need_ _you_ ”

Chanyeol’s eyes were filled with tears.

Sehun felt spent from his revelation. He was drained and freezing. In the rush he had forgotten to even wear his coat. He waited, wished for Chanyeol to understand him. He had never gotten an opportunity to save his mother he wasn’t ready to fail this time.

“Look at me” Chanyeol said.

Sehun couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to hear his reasoning or his goodbye.

“What side of the bridge am I on?’ Chanyeol asked, smile on his face.

“What?” Sehun frowned, finally looking up at him, “What are you talking about?”

Was it metaphorical? Was it supposed to mean something? Chanyeol was still grinning at him completely calm.

Sehun thought back to when he first saw Chanyeol on the bridge, he had been standing on the other side, his feet on the ledge, close to jumping off. Sehun looked at him now, Chanyeol’s feet was on the concrete, not hanging over the edge, not clinging to the wrong side of the railings. He was standing on the bridge looking out the view.

“ _Oh_ _fuck_ ” Sehun whispered eyes closing shut immediately.

“Come here” Chanyeol chuckled, holding his arms out for him.

Sehun covered his face with his hands in utter embarrassment, cursing his brothers, cursing Chanyeol, cursing himself. Sehun had revealed his soul to him.

Sehun took steps backwards, mortified. “ _Oh_ , _shit_ , sorry, I thought that, my brothers said that, I assumed, wrongly that...” he stammered unable to form coherent words.

Chanyeol walked toward Sehun reaching for him and stopped him from moving away. Chanyeol was slightly taller than Sehun and he had to look down at him.

“I told Anna it wouldn’t work with her and me”  
Sehun’s mouth fell open “You what? Why would you say that?”

Chanyeol seemed amused by the question, he quirked his lip “Because I meant it. She hurt me, I don’t want to go back there. I understand she wasn’t treated how she should have been the past year, and I apologised for that. But I know now that we can’t be that couple any more – too much has _changed_ , life has moved on. I don’t want to go backwards.”

Sehun shivered, still in shock, and Chanyeol pulled him close to himself.

“Anna asked me if it’s because there is someone else? And I realised that was a big part of it”

“Who are you talking about ?” Sehun wondered feeling like he was totally losing the plot.

“Did you mean those things?” Chanyeol asked softly his voice huskier than usual.

“Of course I did” Sehun cringed. “I wouldn’t have said them if I didn’t mean them. But, Chanyeol you have to understand why I said them. The circumstances—”

“You’re that _someone_ ” Chanyeol interrupted Sehun’s rambling. “The someone Anna talked about. I realised I don’t love Anna. It wasn’t about her, my problem was I was unhappy with me. You made me like me again. All those things we did for Anna, I enjoyed them because I did it with you. She may have been the reason, but you were the cause. While you were trying to make Anna fall in love with me, and make me fall in love with life, _I fell in love_ _with_ _you_ ”

Chanyeol’s big hands were on Sehun’s face, Chanyeol laughed nervously “You can stop looking at me like that now”

“Sorry” Sehun whispered, stunned. He was still reeling from the confession.

They locked eyes and smiled. Chanyeol leaned toward’s Sehun and kissed him.

“I love you” Chanyeol murmured gently against Sehun’s lips as they parted for air, their foreheads still touching.

Sehun swore his heart would jump out of his chest any minute, he smiled nodding, afraid that his voice would not come out. So he pulled Chanyeol in for another kiss finally sealing the _promise_.

 

“We can’t leave the party” Sehun protested as Chanyeol draped his own jacket over Sehun’s shoulder.

“We already have, It’s my party, I can do what I like. And I’m taking the one I _love_ back to my hotel.” Chanyeol smiled wrapping his arms around Sehun as they walked off the Hangang bridge.

 

                            ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

 

_‘Where would we be without tomorrows? What we’d have instead are todays. And if that was the case, with you, I’d hope for the longest day for today. I’d fill today with you, doing everything I’ve ever loved. I’d laugh, I’d talk, I’d listen and learn, I’d love, I’d love, I’d love. I’d make every day today and spend them all with you, and I’d never worry about tomorrow, when I wouldn’t be with you. And when that dreaded tomorrow comes for us, please know that I didn’t want to leave you, or be left’ - (Cecelia Ahern)_

__⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally we have a happy ending :)


End file.
